The Playground

Making

2011-12-31T16:15:00.001-05:00

I've been holding off on blogging for a bit (sorry)... I've been doing a lot of re-evaluating my life, goals, dreams, path, blahblahblah... and the one thing I can't get around is my desire to make things. So, 2012 will be the year of making.

- Making things happen.
- Making art.
- Making choices.
- Making mistakes.
- Making changes.
- Making work.
- Making opportunities.
- Making my own happiness.

Sondheim says it best, "Anything you do, let it come from you, then it will be new. Give us more to see". <--- I resolve to do just that.

Looking back at 2011, my resolution was to "write more, read more, and talk hard". I think that happened.

I normally include a top ten list of my favorite things about the year, but what it ultimately comes down to is this:

Polaroid Stories - It threw artists into my life that I would be lost without. And it greatly reaffirmed the kind of art I want to make and the work that I want to do.

Starf*ckers - Over the summer I got to see my short play Starf*ckers produced. That was a wonderful (and terrifying) experience. Throwing yourself onstage is one thing, but throwing your words... that's a whole other ballgame.

Broadway - This year I went to the city twice, and saw Angels in America: Millennium Approaches, Ghetto Klown, Follies, and Book of Mormon. They were all incredible, but I am especially thankful for the experience John Leguizamo gave me in his one person show. Reaffirming the idea that a) my only job is to be human, and b) I am enough. And the few words we shared after his show melted my heart (he's a major hero of mine).

The Balcony - The fall production at my school. It was a crazy whirlwind semester of wondering and doubting where I am and what I'm studying (why am I not an acting major, or a directing major, or a playwriting major? why am I at a school that is so heavily focused on just musical theatre?). But I feel like this show was a much needed sign (along with Polaroid) telling/showing me I am exactly where I need to be right now.

People - My family, my roommates, my core, my company (just wait!), and my faculty (the lovely few)... all who inspire me, push me, care for me, and hear me. I think fundamentally I am a person with the simple need to be listened to. So I'm incredibly thankful for all who do... including YOU reading my blog!

And right now, the thing that is most gratifying about looking back at the highlights of my year is to see that they all are moments in the theatre. I think next year I want to see more of my own personal work make this list.

Here's to a year of making!

Mormons and Trains

2011-11-28T09:08:00.001-05:00

Photos and stories from my Official Weekend for Giving Thanks!

The actual day of Thanksgiving: Watched the parade with Christian. Fell asleep somewhere in the middle of the dog show. Watched part two of Angels in America: Perestroika. Packed. Curled my hair. And then the two of us headed to our Foxxy Thanksgiving dinner (the few of us who stayed in town got together for a pot luck). At 9:30 Gavin and I were on a bus headed for NYC!

Jonathan and the turkey!

Trevor and I.

Feeling blessed!

Gav and I belting.

Models.

Got to the city. Made my way to Brooklyn where I was reunited with Robbie!! Sleep. Up early the next morning to head into the city. Note to self-- 5th Ave is CRAZY on Black Friday. Actual madness. We spent the day walking around, running into a million people we knew. I got some new plays (surprise, surprise). That night we saw Follies, center orchestra too! It was STUNNING, beautifully directed, and Bernadette Peters and Jan Maxwell are STARS.

Robbie!

Gavin, Robbie, and I!

Juniors!

Accurate.

Sectumsempra!

Saturday was a later start. Bagels in Brooklyn with some friends. Then got in line at 3PM for standing room tickets to Book of Mormon. Sat around until 6 when they did the drawing for lotto tickets. I WON! Robbie and I got to see The Book of Mormon front row center! The show is fantastic, and completely deserving of all it's success. And for me it epitomized what a musical comedy should be.

Bagels and coffee.

That. Hair.

Sensible headless Ken in the nude. Brooklyn is so trendy.

In line!

After the show I met up with Gavin and 1AM we began our epic Subway Adventure! Mission: 2 trains to get from Midtown to Brooklyn. Get my stuff. 2 trains back to Midtown. 1 train to Washington Heights. Pick up Gavin's stuff. 1 train to Port Authority to catch a 6:30 bus. It actually took us from 1-5AM to do this. The people who ride the subway at 3 and 4 in the morning are veeeerrryyyy interesting. I might write a play about them.

Brooklyn. 2:30 AM.

Midtown. 3:30 AM.

Washington Heights. 4:30 AM.

Port Authority. 5:30 AM.

Thanks

2011-11-24T00:00:00.000-05:00

It's time for that annual Thanksgiving post, where I give thanks for all the wonderful things in my life. Obviously I can't name every specific thing... but here it is...

1. My family, for being my best friends. And it's weird to be spending Thanksgiving without them. But then again, it's weird to not come home to dinner cooked by my dad. It's weird to be painting without my mom. It's weird to watch SVU without my sister. It's weird to not yell at my brother for hogging all the bandwidth. This growing up thing is weird...
2. My roommates, for being my family. I get to come home everyday to two of the greatest people ever.
3. A select group of faculty, for listening to me. The universe has thrown some incredible artists into my life to inspire me, push me, care for me, and hear me.
4. My core, for supporting me. I often take for granted this lovely, understanding, and loving group of people I get the pleasure to work with everyday.
5. My school, for breaking me. Challenging my thoughts, ideas, and skills... pushing me to be better and sharper, and helping me figure out the type of artist I am. Also, nothing makes me more grateful to go here than watching bad senior showcase videos from other schools.
6. Miami, and my support system at home. I'll see you guys in a month!
7. Theatre, for saving my life. I couldn't be more grateful for the art I get to share with people.
8. Starbucks. Enough said.
9. Boston, for being awesome. I'm always surprised by how wonderful this city is. I need to make more of an effort to get out of the bubble.
10. The simple things, for being everywhere. Wool socks, crunchy leaves, christmas lights, ice cream, a sunny day, new paints, hot showers, scented candles, a clean apartment, new episodes of SVU.

And now as I approach a LOT of amazing food, some words from Tina Fey...

Wild Again, and 5 Again

2011-11-18T00:02:00.001-05:00

I might actually be a 5 year old.

This week has been fantastic. I don't know what came over me, but in the last couple days I've gone out of my way to do things that make me REALLY happy. Simple little things. I feel like a 5 year old, and it's WONDERFUL.

Things I've Done:
1. Spent 15 minutes crunching EVERY SINGLE LEAF on my way home cutting through the Christian Science Center. Literally going out of my way to just crunch leaves... you should try it.
2. It was pouring the other night on my way home. I didn't have an umbrella, only a hoodie. After about a minute I thought, "screw that". Took the hoodie off. Took down my hair. And allowed myself to get completely drenched. SO liberating.
3. I made a ginger bread house today in Meisner. Enough said.
4. Went to the art supply store and got some canvas, acrylics, and brushes!!
5. Read two plays in the last 2 days, and got a few more at the bookstore!
6. Got a venti size of my favorite drink at Starbucks.
7. Watched this weeks new SVU episode at its actual air time. SO GREAT. Hadn't been able to do that at all this season because of my rehearsal schedule.
8. Talked to my parents and sister.
9. Peach champagne.
10. Just saw Jean Genet's The Balcony here at school. INCREDIBLE. The design and direction was simply STUNNING. And its exciting and reaffirming to see such great talent being showcased. This is the provocative theatre I love to see and am dying to be apart of. Just true artistry. I think if there's anywhere I'd want to spend a day it would be inside this directors head. What a fantastic place it must be. And I can't remember the last time I had that much fun at the theatre! (Polaroid was a different kind of fun, haha). But yeah, I literally wanted to get up and dance at the end of the show. Oh, and can we talk about the KILLER soundtrack? I seriously can't get over the design aspects of this show. The lights, costumes, set, music and how excellently staged the entire thing was. I had no idea my school had the capability of all this. It's was just all great, one of those nights I feel like I am exactly where I need to be.

Do things that make you happy. Live in everyday rapture.

(as long as they don't involve hurting yourself or anyone else)

Skeletons, Turkeys, and Orphans

2011-11-16T00:43:00.001-05:00

Closing a good show is always bittersweet, but closing Polaroid Stories this weekend was almostpainful. YES, it feels great to finally leave the dark world the show sits in.And my body is THRILLED to get more than 5 hours of sleep every night. But Imiss the people. I miss the family. I miss having somewhere to go. I alwaysthink my Capricorn is showing when I let my need to be involved take over.Capricorn’s body emphasis is on the skeleton. The bones. The framework. And so Capricorns (and me) have thisinsatiable need to be apart of that framework, a piece that holds everythingtogether. So here we are post-show… and I’m feeling a little lost.

And Thanksgiving is fast approaching, which is not helpingthis orphaned feeling. It’s my first Thanksgiving away from home and from myfamily. I’ve had multiple plans fall through (including NYC for theparade—boo), so right now it’s looking like turkey sandwiches and wine with oneof my roommates who’s also staying in town. We’ll be each other’s family… andthat’s something to be grateful for. Also, it looks like I will be heading tothe city for Black Friday and general mischief with Robbie whose been heldcaptive in Reno on a Hairspray contract for the last 4 months, so THAT’Sawesome. But, yeah. I’m a little mad because I said I wouldn’t letmyself get homesick… and I am, just a smidge. But hey, only one more month. PS.Miami, I’ll be in town for 3 ½ weeks. Watch out!

And it’s ironic that while I’m swimming around in all thesefeelings I’ve managed to watch Annietwice in the last three days. The newer movie version on Sunday at our castparty (don’t ask), and then again with the original version on ABC Familytonight. I have no shame in admitting that I think Annie is a fantastically underrated musical, that unfortunately hasbeen destroyed by community and school theatre. It was one of my favoritemovies as a kid. Annie and Pocahontas. And I think back to mysenior year of high school, when I learned why I was so attracted to them. Wewere discussing Jung’s archetypes, and drawing (attracting) ours out of a deck of cards.I ended up with Networker and Liberator. This still blows my mind. The factthat out of a deck of 50+ cards THESE were the two I chose.

Networker:

Light Attributes—Enhances unity through the sharing ofinformation. Engenders social awareness and empathy.

Shadow Attributes—Conveys information only for personalgain. Spreads fear and falsehood.

Liberator:

Light Attributes—Freeing yourself and others from outmodedbeliefs. Releasing negative thought patterns.

Shadow Attributes—Imposing your own tyranny over those youclaim to liberate. Ignoring legitimate constraints.

Yes. Yes to it all. Both Annie and Pocahontas are networkers and liberators.And I am too. It’s my job.

And it’s funny because I look back at all this now andremember when I first got these two years ago I was SO resistant to theseShadow Attributes. And I was so insistent that I wasn’t falling into thosethings. But I’m growing up—or getting older rather (screw growing up). I cansee those things more clearly now. I love to play in all that light, but I knowI have the capacity for that darkness. And I can be specific about it. I recognizewhen I do those things. Spreading fear. Imposing tyranny.

So we should acknowledge the shadows is basically what I’mtrying to say. And when I say “we” I’m mostly talking to myself. Why is it sohard to take out own advice? I guess that’s a topic for another blog post, butnot this one. Back to the shadows. Embracing that. Embracing the ugly andwhat’s hiding under the bed. I think it deepens our work. When we can stoptrying to make our characters likable, and open up to the idea that they areHUMAN… and human’s totally suck sometimes. We all do. Finding that darkpassenger inside of us (Dexter reference, hey!). The dormant murder, abuser, addict.It’s there… it’s just up to us to open that channel. (Again, let me beclear—I’m talking about acting and theatre here). Like today in Viewpoints wewere playing with Behavioral Gesture. A horror movie. Well I’m TERRIFIED ofscary movies. I don’t watch them. I can’t watch them. And the first image that popped into my head was thegirl from The Ring. And it freaks me out, but instead of running around andscreaming or hiding from her I became her. Took my hair down, threw it in frontof my face, and walked unbearably slow towards the mania. For a moment I ownedit, the idea that I could be my own worst nightmare. That was fun. Later myprofessor said “it’s always interesting who decides to be the killer”. I’ve since been wondering what he meant by that. Hmm.

There’s no segue for the next thing I wanna mention, so I’lljust dive in. Caffeine withdrawal is no joke. I guess this is coming fullcircle, since I’m relating back to PolaroidStories and the amount of coffee I consumed during that entire process. Itwas a lot. Before every rehearsal without fail. And it was always my secondtrip to Starbucks of the day too. I swear, I pledge allegiance to the SBucks.And that’s a little embarrassing. And moderately expensive. Which was never aproblem because coffee is the ONLY thing I spend money on. Except for recently… because retail therapy is also not a joke. I took myself out shopping afterour cast dinner Sunday to make myself feel better. And tonight I somehow foundmyself at Barnes and Nobles buying plays, even though I made a pact with myselfI wouldn’t get anymore until I got through all the unread ones that arecurrently sitting on my shelf. Whoops. But I also got these cool metal puzzlethings to use in Meisner as an activity. So there ya go. My spending is totallyjustified.

I don’t know where this is even going. I don’t even know whyI’m still awake. I’m still stuck on my production sleeping schedule, whichbasically pushes my bedtime to 2AM, but that’s totally unnecessary right now.So there. I guess I’m going to bed now.

Polaroid Stories Production Photos

2011-11-15T22:18:00.001-05:00

Polaroid Stories at The Boston Conservatory. Directed by Chris Webb. Assistant Directed and photographed by yours truly.

This show was definitely a challenge to photograph because of the minimal, dark, and evocative lighting design. Most of the lights were overhead specials, which cast a ton of shadow, so I ended up relying heavily on editing in iPhoto to boost the exposure.

Shot on a Nikon D40. Night one: 18-55mm. Night two: 18-200mm (thanks Sarah).

Shake It Out

2011-11-04T01:59:00.000-04:00

Shake It Out
I knew from the start November was gonna be a good month. First of all, it started on my favorite day of the week—Tuesday—with a bowl of fruit loops, an iced latte, world news, and the new Florence + The Machine album “Ceremonials” (which I HIGHLY recommend). And it ended with a great night in rehearsal and a late night glass of champagne (because you really gotta toast to a new month). And these last few days have just been filled with so many highs and some scary lows—but all the great stuff that reminds me that I’m alive… that I’m a human (and we all know how I feel my only “job” is to be a human). So it’s been great. I’ve been letting go of A LOT, and feeling so liberated because of it! Like literally shaking the sound out of myself… the thoughts out of myself… the words out of myself. And this is where this blog is coming from. Word vomit. I’m just shaking it all out. I owe it to myself. And y’all have been complaining that I don’t post enough ;)

Beauty in the Breakdown
Ok… what it is, right? It goes like this. The other night in rehearsal I kind of had a little breakdown. A good breakdown. A much-needed breakdown. Finally realizing how much I’ve been censoring my thoughts/feelings lately—even to myself—and realizing that I need to let myself fall apart so that I can put myself back together again. So now it’s time to vent. Time to shake it out.

Shit that’s frustrating/pissing me off:

1.I WANT TO DO IT ALL. Or, in the words of John Locke, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!” I had a friend tell me the other day, “you should just transfer to another school and be a directing major because it’s obvious that that’s what you really wanna be doing”. No. Don’t tell me what I want to do. If I wanted to be a directing major right now, I would be. But that’s not what’s calling me right now. Sorry.

2.The show I’m ADing right now is literally the most fantastic experience. Really, though. Those 4 hours every night are the highlight of my day. It’s the thing I most look forward to, and the thing that’s hardest to leave behind. But it’s making me really see all the bullshit everywhere else in my life--and most specifically in musical theatre . And that's actually the scariest thing for me to admit. It's to the point where I don't believe a majority of musical theatre. I’m not buying it. I’ve seen life changing musical theatre, I know what it is… and it’s sad and scary that is is just SO rare. And I think this is where my desire to write/direct comes from… my search for truth in the theatre. And while this is all incredibly frustrating, it’s also invigorating… it drives me. It gives me purpose. I am an artist. I want to create art.

3.Semantics. I don’t know why this offended me, but someone asked my friend recently why she does theatre. My friend responded, “Because I love to pretend”. I hate the word pretend. It’s synonymous with words like “fake” and “false”. And I don’t want to go to the theatre and see someone faking it. I don’t want someone to lie to me; I want to see the truth of their circumstances. And I know this is probably what my friend meant, but come on… word choice.

4. A general lack of accountability. This is just a problem with humanity. “It’s not my fault because….” –And who the hell am I trying to kid? Of course I do this too. We all do. But I want to take it upon myself to be accountable for my actions. Yes, it’s my fault. End of story. I think it’s the same sense of embracing failure we have in acting that I want to pursue in real life. Like, sure… I did this thing wrong, and it is entirely my fault.

5. Not being honest with myself. Smiling, apologizing, laughing, and brushing things off that actually hurt me. All my training (specifically Meisner) is teaching me NOT to do this, so now I'm a little mad realizing how often I do this in my day-to-day life.

6. The simple fact that I’m constantly surrounded by people who are questioning what they do. It can sometimes be a little much… because everyone else is second-guessing themselves I feel almost GUILTY if I don’t second guess myself. But eff that. There are a lot of things I want to do. And there are a lot of things I’m good at. I trust the universe will let me do all of things… I just need to be patient because I can’t do everything at once.

7. The fact that I CAN’T do everything at once. I mean, because in the end I’m only one person with one body haha. But the way I look at it: I have a lifetime of excellent work ahead of me. I’m calling this chapter “Fierce MT Training” or “#BFAproblems”. And it’s scary and thrilling that I don’t know what the next chapter might be. Maybe “Pounding Pavement” or “Directing for Dummies” or “I want to be a Serious Actor, You want to be a Serious Actor? I want to be a Serious Actor.” or maybe “Drinking and Writing”. I don’t know. We’ll see what calls to me in 2 and a half years. But for now, I’m seriously digging where I’m at. Because at least I’m in a place that’s making me think. Breaking me. Inspiring me. Helping me shape and define the artist I want to be, and the work I want to do—the fun I want to have.

And here I am right now. These thoughts have been swimming around all week, and finally tonight I talked to someone who gets it—someone who knows how it goes. Someone who assured me I’m not crazy. And I got this great sense of community that I hadn’t found in Boston until tonight… people to help me put the pieces back together. And that’s entirely it… we can’t put ourselves together if we don’t let ourselves fall apart first. The most reassuring thing I got out of this particular conversation was the idea that this breakdown feeling it right—if our training isn’t breaking us it’s not working. And I’m so grateful for that. For the people and experiences life is throwing at me right now. I seriously must have done something friggen excellent in a past life to deserve all this.

Figuring Out What You Really Want in Life
I went out with Bailey last weekend for a roommate shopping/fancy dinner date, and the latter part of dinner was spent on a thought I’m sure many of us daydream about: what would we do if we won the lotto? This for me has always been very telling in what I really want in life. If I didn’t have to worry about my student loan payments and rent and food and phone bills and Starbucks what would I do? Well here it is… If I won the lotto RIGHT NOW:
1. Go shopping. I mean, duh. We all need to get that huge shopping spree out of our system. And obviously I’m taking my mom and sister with me.
2. Pay for school.
3. Put some money away. Save some for a rainy day, ya know?
4. Pay for my sibling’s school.
5. Pay off my parents mortgage/debt/cars/whatever.
6. Buy my dad a mountain with a house (or lodge) on it. Maybe Montana. (This has been a long standing agreement on what I owe him if I ever made it big)
7. Set my family up. I owe them everything, so it seems fitting.
8. Buy property. New York. Boston. Chicago. Miami. LA.
9. Majorly renovate a brownstone near school.
10. Recreate The Drama Bookshop in my brownstone.
11. Have a theatre space in my brownstone.
12. Start a theatre company (employ my friends).
13. Do fulfilling work with my theatre company. Act/Direct/Write. Everything. Shifting roles. Stretching my boundaries. Keeping things fresh and new and exciting.

Don’t underestimate the power of your daydreams. It’s nice to think about this every once in a while, see how this list changes. How some things rise in importance while others lose all meaning.

Angels
I’ve been thinking a lot about Ginny lately. I was skimming through some of Jose Rivera’s plays looking for new material to work on, when at the exact moment I read “a million million angels died” (Marisol) Ginny’s picture half fell off the bookcase it’s taped to. I mean there’s gotta be something to that. There’s just gotta. And for literally 10 minutes I was completely frozen because I FELT that. That was a real thing. And I felt HER. My entire body was tingling. Like a small electrical storm. Or stars shifting. And I was so warm. So full of light.

Meowlloween

2011-11-04T01:55:00.001-04:00

Just a few of the MANY photos I took this past Halloween. I was a cat. I definitely win for originality.

Polaroid Stories

2011-11-01T18:58:00.002-04:00

This is the poster I made for the show I'm ADing. Boston, you need to come see this!

Play Day

2011-10-28T00:30:00.002-04:00

Our Polaroid Stories play day in the fens.

"Folding Chair"- Regina Spektor.

In It

2011-10-27T01:31:00.000-04:00

SMS: Stage Manager’s Syndrome

I’m sure I’ve mentioned my current endeavor: Assistant Directing/Stage Managing this semesters faculty directed studio show Polaroid Stories. I literally can’t put to words how grateful I am for this experience, and how much this process is teaching me. But seriously though. I’ve never realized how most of my theatre work has been product-oriented, as opposed to process-oriented. Even in professional situations. Because of time and money, the process is quickly rushed through and there’s a great pressure to get things right the first time. There’s no exploration. No chance to play. This process has been the opposite of that. First of all, it actually FEELS like a process. It’s a complete extension of all the training I’m currently receiving (my core classes specifically), and it’s just been so good for me. BUUUUT (because there’s always a but), I do have to admit I have a BAD case of Stage Manager’s Syndrome. What is SMS, you ask? Well, it’s when your sitting at the table following on book, watching people doing excellent work, and WISHING you were up there with them. Hands down, the most beautiful work I’ve seen done at the conservatory has happened here in rehearsal... which is thrilling, and I’m grateful to just be in the room, but this last week I’ve been so envious of everyone that gets to dive in and bring this material to life. Because I wanna act too. I’m majoring in it, aren’t I? And this piece is so great. And the cast is fantastic. And our director is literally the coolest. And the way he works is the way I like to work. Like, so good. It’s all so good. I’m seriously being spoiled with this show.

Oh. And we went to the Fens last weekend to play. So good.

Life on the Grid,Life on the Grid, Life on the Grid and Repetition

One thing I’m constantly working on in class is tearing downmy walls, and allowing myself to be emotionally accessible. I realized recentlythat it’s in my Viewpoints class that I am the most “there”, in my body/heartand not in my head. And I’ve been trying to put my finger on why, so I canbring that same sense to my other classes. I’m pretty sure it’s the grid. It’sthe soft focus. It’s the awareness of everyone else and this idea that selfishnessis not an option (because I’ll hurt someone or myself). And that’s fine becauseI’m not worried about myself, I’m moving on the grid… it’s not calculus. It’sgiving myself over to impulse. Allowing myself to be affected by the peoplearound me. And these things relate directly to the Meisner work we’re doing. SoI bring the grid there. Not over-analyzing. Not looking for the smart answer.Just reacting. And not censoring.

Viewpoints is probably one of my favorite things ever. Ilook back at my senior year of high school and realize my performance art classwas kind of a crash course of viewpoints (not getting to into the terminology,and really just diving into composition). So coming back to it now… and givingit the time and care it deserves is the best. And though I’m anxious to moveinto sound/gesture and actually creating pieces, I’m happy I get the chance tobuild a solid foundation.

Meisner is cool. I miss Uta though. You miss Uta though? Imiss Uta though.

Repetition exercises seem to have taken us over. We repeatin class. We repeat on breaks. We repeat in line at Starbucks. We repeat atparties. We repeat.

Fitzmaurice is wild. Tremoring is a trip. I’m seriouslyenjoying it. Such a great release.

What Am I Doing WithMy Life?

It’s been said,“You can have anything, but you can’t have everything”. That shit terrifies me.Why? Because I want everything out of life. Apparently I confuse people, becausehere I am majoring in musical theatre even though my ultimate goal in life isNOT Broadway (gasp!). WHY WOULD ILIMIT MYSELF LIKE THAT?

I want to be a successful stage actor.

I want to be a published playwright.

I want to an accomplished director.

I want my screenplay to turn into a big budget motionpicture.

I want someone to pick up and produce my tv show.

I want to start my own theatre company.

I want to employ my friends.

I want a recurring role on Law & Order: SVU.

I want to launch and lead Law & Order: Miami.

I want to be on Broadway.

I want to be off-Broadway.

I want to be in a National Tour.

I want to go to grad school.

I want to do performance art.

I want to photograph theatre.

I want to be a theatre critic.

I want to win a Tony.

I want to live in New York. Chicago. Boston. Miami. LA.

I want to pay off my student loans before I die.

I want to be happy.

So there. This is what I want from the universe. Law ofAttraction, right? “Whatever you think about, you bring about”. I’m not ashamedof my dreams. And I’ll never stop following them.

Tired

I haven’t had a night offin about 3 and half weeks. I could really use a good nights sleep. And my wholebody is sore. Which is awesome, but ow.

#OccupyBoston

2011-10-22T02:29:00.001-04:00

Yes, I wore my Les Miserables shirt to Occupy Boston's Student Solidarity March. Do you hear the people sing?

(I'm on the right, sunglasses, behind the cardboard, throwing up a peace sign.)

And me among the press.

This is what democracy looks like.

I Want YOU!

2011-10-22T02:16:00.001-04:00

You're all waiting for me to post something...

What I want to know is what are the subjects YOU want me to write about? Go fill my little inbox with the issues and ideas you want to see explored here.

My main reason for asking this is because I really want to blog... but I'm finding most of the things that are inspiring me and making me think lately are very specific to the training I'm receiving... and I'm afraid thats irrelevant to many of you actually reading this.

I want to make it clear though: I do NOT want this to be an advice column. I'm cool answering theatre/work/process related questions... but I'm not the person to be giving you advice on how to get that guy you like to notice you (lol). But other than that I'll write just about anything... a list of plays i recommend, the songs overplayed on my iTunes at the moment, whatever...

Yay!

Loving, Feeling, and Living

2011-10-02T13:34:00.001-04:00

For Fergie, who reminds me that blogging isn’t only essential to my growth, but the growth of others.

Loving
I get asked for advice a lot—which is weird for me since so frequently I’m the one asking for advice. But regardless, usually what I’m asked is somewhere along the lines of “How do I get through this?”, “How do I keep myself from getting stressed?”, “How do I do it all?”. Well, 1) Just do it. 2) Just do it. And 3) Just do it.

I’m not gonna finish writing a paper or reading a book if I spend my time talking about how I need to finish it. It’s gonna get done when I shut up and just do it. For me, the hardest is completing work in subjects I don’t care for. Like I’ll admit, my lib arts class doesn’t compare in the exciting-ness of my other classes, so it’s much harder for me to write a paper on Homer than it is to write one on Pippin. But I know it’s work that needs to get done, and bitching isn’t going to up my word count. So I let myself write without structure, anything that pops into my head that might seem relevant, and then I go back and edit. I get it done. I don’t question it.

Stress is important. Essential, I’d say. Stress has such a negative connotation, but I feel that its presence is absolutely crucial in our work. Stress is what gives us that extra kick and sense of urgency. Of course everything is only good in moderation, so it’s important to balance stress with a sense of ease. How do we do that? We are stressed when we hunt for control. Control, as I’ve probably said before, is a farce. It is completely unattainable. And we need to be careful, because the moments we think we are in most control are the ones we are most far out of control. (The extremes would be people with eating disorders who think they have complete control over their bodies—we know they’re far from that). So once we accept that we ultimately have no control over anything then we can go into these stressful situations with a sense of ease.

But the most important part is finding the love in whatever you’re doing. Instead of having to read four chapters of Esper’s book on Meisner, I get to. Instead of having to memorize 3 new monologues, I get to. How lucky am I that the work I’m required to do is something I am utterly infatuated with? Seriously. If you’re freaking out because you’ve got some Six Steps to complete (that’s for my NW juniors) or monologue/song cuts to work on for college auditions (hey, seniors) remember that it could be worse! You’re paper could be on something awful like molecular genetics, or instead of working on audition material you’re taking 5 extra AP classes.

We do this work because we love it. And it’s important to love and appreciate the process. In high school they pounded “trust the process” into my head. But I think we need to take it a step further and love the process.

Feeling
I intellectualize my feelings. Things happen to me and though I have a quick and brief emotional response, I quickly mask that with logic. I’d call this my most prominent defense mechanism. In fact, I’d call this everyone’s most prominent defense mechanism. Rarely do we allow ourselves to actually feel things. We very much live in a “suck it up and move on” society… which I think is fine for everyday life, but is a hindrance to my artistry. Onstage, no one is interested in the smart response, only the truthful one. (Something I’m working on in Meisner). It’s a work in progress. Everyday in class I’m faced with the challenge of tearing down that wall and allowing myself to be emotionally accessible. Crossing the threshold and entering in my higher, more vulnerable, artistic self.

Living
I’ve said so many times this school year that I’m living. In acting with Meisner, I’m living. In voice/speech when I allow my body to do what it does naturally, without trying to control it, I’m living. In movement when we run the grid and I clear my mind and can move with a sense of abandon, I’m living. In musical theatre when I give into my heart and shut up my mind, I’m living. There’s been so much stripping of trying and controlling. We’ve gone back to essentials… remembering how to just live, how to just be. I’ve blogged about it before, my only job is to be a human being. And sometimes we forget what that is. Or, we have this skewed idea of what it should be. Declan Donellan said, “human beings are animals that take things personally.” So this year I feel my primal nature being reinforced. It’s refreshing and invigorating.

Excuses

2011-09-17T12:23:00.000-04:00

Lights up on an abandoned playground. There is a crowd staring at it from afar in total silence... waiting for something to happen.

ALEXIS enters SL. Embarrassed when she sees the crowd, she scurries to her seat on the swing. She kicks off her purple Docs and takes a seat. She swings for a moment in total silence. Finally when the tension is too much she stops swinging and clears her throat.

ALEXIS: Hi. Uh. Hi, everyone. Wow, uhmm... I'm sorry. It's been awhile. I mean, you know how life gets. (Pause) Right? Crazy. But uh, anways... here's what y'all've been waiting for. Oh, yeah... and I say y'all now. My speech has been heavily influenced by my Louisiana roommate and all my Georgian core-mates. Great. Ok. Without further ado, a blog post!

Blackout.

Ugh I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I'm awful! I haven't written in over a month and a half! Ok, thats a lie, I HAVE written... just not on this blog. Actually, I've written quite a lot. So here is a list of excuses why I haven't written. (I know everyone hates excuses, but it's my blog and you don't have to hear 'em if ya don't want to).

- My summer job kind of took over my life. I was stage managing and camp counseling... which was all day everyday. Literally one of the most exhausting things ever.

- When I wasn't working I was busy having a social life. (Oh my god, I know). Spending time with my family and this lil nugget (who's basically family) before both of us left for school. (She's a big bad freshman at Syracuse now!)

- I got a little obsessed with Tumblr. FOLLOW me.

- I also Tweet.

- I went to the beach to get tan and have something to show for spending my summer in Miami. It didn't work too well, but I got some great photos.

- I was/am writing A LOT. Like woah.

- I left Miami and moved back to Boston for my sophomore year at school. And I moved into literally the most gorgeous apartment ever. So for a week or so I was really busy with that whole "settling in" process.

One of my roommates, Bailey, in her cupcake room!

- Sophomore year has started off REALLY well. I LOVE what I'm taking this year. Just a taste... Movement (Viewpoints!!), Acting (Meisner), Arts Criticism, Voice/Speech, Musical Theatre (Solo song interp.), all int/avd dance classes (Ballet, Jazz, Tap), and others. It's a ton of work. This year is already proven to be strenuous both physically and mentally, and I'm so ready for it.

- Sophomore year is also infinitely better since we no longer live in the dorms (I can cook my own meals!), and I LOVE my class.

- Uhmm... what else? Oh! I got hired as a writing coach/tutor at school. Yay! A job!! Very anxious to get started.

I think I'm all outta excuses. So I guess that's it for now. I swear I'm gonna write more often. I hope y'all are doing well!

Communing With Water

2011-09-17T11:30:00.000-04:00

I am the water.
Rising and falling.
Bracing and crashing
Inviting and healing.
Biting and numbing,

I am the water.
Not sure if I am running away from something,
But certain in knowing I'm running towards something.
Always moving forward. Always moving on.
Rambling on. Floating on.

I am the water.
I don't know time.
And though I may have been here before,
I still need to figure things out again.
No beginning. No end. only voyage.

I am the water.
Shifting endlessly, sensitive, and temperamental.
Easily affected and easily adapting.
Navy, cerulean, slate, and sky.
Swimming through highlights and drowning in shadows.

I am the water.
With waves like tiny mountains,
Built to reach the heavens.
And even though I know they'll always fall down,
I won't ever stop rebuilding them.

I am the water.
In the day the sun dances on my body.
Glistening and shimmering.
And at night I look up hard and the sky,
and pray the stars never leave my eyes.

I sat on a dock on the Charles River for almost an hour, and then wrote this for my acting class.

More To See

2011-07-31T23:14:00.003-04:00

... to that Dot would reply, "Stop worrying if your vision is new. Let other make that decision, they usually do. You keep moving on".

I usually rely on Sondheim's words of wisdom when creating new things. And if you know me then you know I've always got some sort of little project going on... usually a short play, an episode for my tv show, or another mockumentary outline. Lately my urge to create has been a bit overwhelming because I want to do so much. I want nothing more than to be a contributing member in our artistic society.

I've got a bit of a pet project I'd like to see through this next year up at school... a short play festival. I haven't decided if I want them to all be NEW (I have no clue how many writers there are at school) or relatively new (that opens the pool up to some of my Miami friends' work). But, I want to see my own work produced and I want to see more plays at school (we're heavy on the musicals). So I've been writing a lot, working out my problems and living my fantasies through fictional people in fictional places. And the things I constantly think when I write are: 1. Is this work I would be envious of if another person came up with it? 2. Am I being brave in writing this? 3. As an actor, would this be a dream role? 4. Will this endure time and still be relevant? 5. I am exploring uncharted territory?
And it's the last thing that really gets me sometimes... the need to bring unseen things to the light. So I think back to Sondheim, "Anything you do, let it come from you, then it will be new. Give us more to see."

-----------------------------

Another thing... I came across this "To Do" list on Tumblr and have sort of made them my summer goals.

Keep a journal, carry a notepad.
Draw everywhere.
Don't complain about what you do.
Exercise.
Go out and experience things/people, on rare occasion.
Execute dumb ideas beautifully.
Turn off the internet.
Read fiction.
Don't worry about how good it'll be, just make it and do your best.
Say "no" to people, even if you like them.

And it's been going well! I've been doing all of these things! The biggest thing for me has been saying "no" to people I like when they ask me for favors. I always bite off more than I can chew, just because I like to work and I like feeling needed and appreciated by people. But this summer I've placed my focus on the jobs that are paying me and the ones that bear my own vision. So it's been good.

-----------------------------

I want my house to be The Drama Book Shop. Is that too much to ask?

Heavy Things Become Light

2011-07-27T20:08:00.011-04:00

Something needs to be said for today, July 27. Three years ago this day a light went out and the world stood quiet for Ginny McDougal.

I think life throws us these big heavy things called Experience. And Experience doesn’t come with instructions or WikiHow, just (hopefully) some awesome people to help you deal with it all. Sometimes this Experience weighs a bit heavier than usual, sinks you a bit lower, lingers a little longer… and that usually means it’s brought along some Perspective. Perspective forces the changing of lens’, a new angle, more pixels. There’s a moment of blurriness, the haze of life re-focusing… and then, finally, Clarity.

Experience. Perspective. Clarity.

And it never stops. Experiences will never cease. There will always be a new Perspective. And Clarity is always there... if we are open to it.

Heavy things become light... if we give them time and let them.

I always like to include an excerpt from David Lindsay-Abaire's play Rabbit Hole, because he phrases this sentiment beautifully:

Becca. (After a beat) Mom? (Nat looks up at her.) Does it go away?
Nat. What?
Becca. This feeling. Does it ever go away? (Beat.)
Nat. No. I don't think it does. Not for me, it hasn't and that's goin' on eleven years. (Beat.) It changes though.
Becca. How?
Nat. I don't know. The weight of it, I guess. At some point it becomes bearable. It turns into something you can crawl out from under. And carry around- like a brick in your pocket. And you forget it every once in a while, but then you reach in for whatever reason and there it is: "Oh Right. That." Which can be awful. But not all the time. Sometimes it's kinda... Not that you like it exactly, but it's what you have instead of your son, so I don't wanna let go of it either. So you carry it around. And it doesn't go away, which is...
Becca. What?
Nat. Fine... actually.

And that's where I am right now. Heavy things becoming light. And comforting in a way. Like, because she's not here in a physical sense then she's allowed to always be around me.

It was almost lunch when I remembered what today was. I looked around, and realized I was exactly where I was three years ago. The theatre. And that too was comforting... the sense of home. I opened the curtain in the black box to look at the overcast sky for a bit, played a little Billy Joel, and went on with my day with an extra smile for her... because that's what she taught me: smile more. As cliche as it sounds, there's just no time to waste on NOT being happy. Another thing, I do truly believe everything happens for a reason. YOU are reading this blog post for a reason. And perhaps it's for the reminder to breathe deep, give thanks, love each other more, love ourselves more, and live in everyday rapture. Take care of each other because you never know what life will throw at you.

Starf*ckers

2011-07-24T20:55:00.000-04:00

COME SEE IT!

The New[est] Play Project

2011-07-24T20:41:00.005-04:00

The New(est) Play Project is back with it's third season of NEW plays by NEW-ish Playwrights!

Included this year are all sorts of ridiculousness, for example: Corrupt politicians, 1950's family education videos, exploding lamps, dinosaurs, dinosaur hunters, religious fruit, action, rooftops on fire, poetry, love affairs, and MORE.

Email to reserve tickets at thenewestplayproject@gmail.com

The project features plays written by Hannah Benitez, Jean Louis Droulers, Alberto Erviti, Maite Francois, Dylan Guerra, Hannah Lipschultz, Rafi Lorie, and Alexis Scheer; directed by Danniel Gerchakov, Dylan Guerra, Elena Maria Garcia, Jean Louis Droulers, Brandon Flynn, Hannah Benitez, Julio Sanchez, and Rafi Lorie; starring Leslie Ballart, Danny Chavarriaga, Jean Louis Droulers, May Erlinger, Crystal Ferreiro, Danniel Gerchakov, Dylan Guerra, Heather Knoble, Armando Santana.

SUBJECT MATTER IS PG-13 for Language, and one instance of violence.

Casey Anthony may make a guest appearance so bring tomatoes!

A Year Ago Ago

2011-07-10T10:08:00.002-04:00

This morning I got an email I sent to myself July 10, 2010 using FutureMe. My responses are bolded.

Dear FutureMe,

Ahh! Your first year in college!! How was it??
AMAZING!!!
Where you cast in anything?
Aside from Freshman Revue and Allegro, I was cast in the Senior Directed Olympics.
Are you still blogging?
Yes! Not as amazingly as last year, but I'm still here.
Are you seeing theatre in Boston? Is it good? Are you reviewing it?
Not really, I have a hard enough time catching everything that goes on a school. Maybe next year.
How many times have you gone to NYC this year? What shows did you see?
Twice. La Cage Aux Folles, Angels in America, and Ghetto Klown.
Do you see shows when you're home?
Of course!
What are you doing this summer?
Stage managing at AP, camp counselor at AP, and my new play is getting produced. Woo!
Any new toys?
Nope, saving up to furnish my apartment.

Ok. Enough about you. Let me remind you about me, and where I am at in my life. I just graduated high school. That's ridiculous. I am BEYOND excited about BoCo! I just bought my one-way plane ticket to Boston. It's so surreal! Haha

--and then some personal stuff I wont copy to this blog. sorry, folks.--

Ok. I think that's it for now.

Congrats, superstar, on making it another year! THANKS!!

PS. Breathe. Remember: You can't have everything you want, but you can have anything. You see what you believe.

--and then my affirmation, which i will also keep private from this blog--

Learn it. Love it. Live it.

Summer Winds

2011-07-05T20:27:00.004-04:00

I knew right off the bat that July would bring its usual air of melancholy as the 27th looms closer to mark three years since Ginny left. I didn't know July would start with a punch... Konz, an old classmate of mine was killed in a car accident this past Sunday. I haven't seen him or spoken to him since I was 13 (he was in my drama class along with Ginny), but it still deeply saddens me. A young life cut too short. Putting a name and face behind statistics. The pop of the bubble, the crash landing, being thrust back into reality to face the fact that WE ARE FRAGILE.

I am humbled by the universe's great plan. Thankful for its lessons, and thankful for the people it brings to teach those lessons.

RIP Konz.

Fireworks

2011-07-04T21:26:00.002-04:00

Happy 4th of July!

BUT even more importantly, today is my parents 20th anniversary! Yay!

Happy Birthday Blog!

2011-07-01T18:27:00.003-04:00

The Playground is three years old today! Yay!! And, this is also my 400th post!! Woohoo! And Happy July everyone! I can't believe we're halfway through summer!

Exposed

2011-07-01T16:50:00.005-04:00

Thanks to Tia for these 62 Power Questions. I'll never pass up an opportunity for some self evaluation.

What is that thing that no one, not even your partner, your mother or your best friend, knows about you? I try very hard to live transparently. The things that nobody would know about me are the things I don't know about myself.

What would make you feel embarrassed in public? My parents yelling out my name... like in stores. That's always embarrassed me.

What do you think is your biggest flaw? What have you done about it? I don't need to give you my laundry list of flaws, but I will tell you it is those specific things that fuel me artistically and warrant my need to be heard.

What is your biggest strength? How did you develop it? Again, you don't need the laundry list, but it is these things that give me the capacity to express in an artistic manner and LICENSE to speak.

What do you have to put up with in your life? How long have you been tolerating it? I don't like the phrasing of this question--it has such a negative undertone. My life is what I want it to be, and ultimately I am in charge. The challenges I face and the things I "have to put up with" and "tolerate" are the things I am grateful for-- they keep me human and fill me with the drive to fight and better myself.

If you could change your name, what would your new name be? Oof, this is hard. Usually when I write characters in plays that are based on me they are named Katie, Sam, Kasie, or Alex.

If you could change your appearance, how would you decide to look? I'd be five inches taller, leaner and more athletic, and a smaller nose.

What color dominates your wardrobe? How do you feel when you wear that color? Why? Navy blue, grey, and black FOR SURE. They are my favorite colors, and make me feel dominant.

Which song do you sing only when you’re alone? What memory does it bring back? Only the Good Die Young--Billy Joel. Every once in a while I'll softly strum it out on my guitar. Missin' Ginny.

Whom do you secretly envy? Why? People who can communicate through dance, and people who are flexible. Obviously those are two things I wish I could do.

What do you really want? Success and stability.

What is the way you often sabotage yourself? Not giving myself freedom to fail.

Who would you like to please the most? Myself, my teachers/mentors, and my parents.

What do you think a stranger’s first impression of you would be? "Whose this bitch?"

What recurring dream do you have? What do you think is the message your subconscious is sending you through that dream? I haven't had any recent recurring dreams.

What would you try now if you were sure you wouldn’t fail? BUY LOTTO TICKETS!

What was that thing you never tried because you were afraid of failure? When I was younger: ballet and gymnastics = BIGGEST REGRET EVER.

What was your greatest disappointment in life? Finding out the people you love most will hurt you the most.

As a kid, what did you dream of becoming when you grew up? The center of attention. Haha.

What are you really good at? Communicating.

What can you do better? Keeping my anxiety in check. It's been pretty good as of late.

What worries you the most when you think about your future? Money. The terrifying fact that I am going to graduate college in A LOT of debt.

What really sucks in your life? Who has the power to change it? Money. And of course I have the power. I will continue to work and trust the universe... and hopefully it will all come back to me with a nice Equity contract, cute lawyer-husband, and swanky apartment on the Upper East Side. We can dream, can't we?

What is your life really about? What is your purpose in life? This is deep, haha. My life = Breathe, Create, Refine, Repeat. I'd like to think my purpose is to inspire and awaken.

What fear could wake you in the middle of the night? Thinking I'm late for something.

What joy could wake you in the middle of the night? A text, a call, the smell of good food.

What are you grateful for? This life that I live! I get to do/study what I love, fully supported by my family, friends, mentors, and teachers. Thankful for the air in my lungs, the ideas in my head, and the love in my heart.

What time of the day do you feel the most energetic? And what do you usually do in those moments? After I have coffee. And usually I do whatever I need to get done... or I have solo dance parties in my living room.

If you knew you had only one week to live, how and with whom would you spend it? I'd spend it creating something with the people I love.

Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply? For some reason my mind went first to the tv shows that touch me deeply... so I HAVE to talk about Law and Order: SVU. And it comes down to two things: Vulnerability and Fearlessness. Things that are exposed so beautifully, artistically, and bravely.

What are you really bad at? Saying "No".

Who would you like to forgive and forget? Never forget. And right now I'll focus on accepting before forgiveness. Baby steps.

Do you often hear your inner voice? What does it usually tell you? YES! It's usually saying "Don't eat that" or "Breathe".

When was the last time you cried without anyone seeing you? And why? About a week and a half ago. Stage managing can be overwhelming... especially with kids.

What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you? That I am smart, funny, and nice.

What’s your most striking physical attribute? Do you like it? My eyes! I wouldn't trade them for anything!

If you had the opportunity to go back in time and make a change, would you still want to have the same parents? YES!! I HAVE THE BEST PARENTS EVER!! I think they should write a book on parenting, because they ROCK at it! I am seriously the luckiest person ever... my parents love and support me unconditionally, and always challenge me to be better.

If you could go back in time and change things, how would you alter the last ten years? I like to think everything happens for a reason. My experiences are essential to who I am and who I will become.

If you could get rid of one of your responsibilities today, what would that be? All of my financial responsibilities. Done.

What is the biggest lie you tell yourself? That I don't care.

What do you think is missing in your life? Spontaneity. That's something I've never been great at. It got A LOT better once I moved to Boston... but I could still be more adventurous.

What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you? I didn't win the lotto. Seriously, what gives?

What type of person angers you the most? Stupid people, and those who don't respect the people they work/learn with.

Who never fails to make you feel good about yourself? They know who they are.

If you could start all over again, what would you want to study? I LOVE what I study, and I'd choose it again. If I HAD to choose something else it would be Directing, Playwrighting, or Acting.

Which type of intelligence do you wish you had: kinetic, visual, interpersonal, linguistic or mathematical? Kinetic.

What is your biggest pet peeve? Questions that force me to think of things that piss me off.

What do you like about yourself the most? My artistic vision.

What do you regret the most? Quitting ballet when I was 5, and never trying gymnastics.

What would you like most to be acknowledged for in your life? I want to make art that makes people think and change. Whether I am acting, writing, or directing... I want to be acknowledged for being fearless and vulnerable.

What is the first thought that usually crosses your mind the second you open your eyes in the morning? How many times can I hit the snooze button.

What is that thing about yourself you’re sick and tired of? How I've just settled with my body. I'm working on a more pro-active approach to getting fitter.

Who really depends on you? Why? My family, friends, teachers/mentors. We all depend on eachother.

What was the most frustrating period in your creative life? Ask me this when I graduate, leave my safe and comfy conservatory bubble, enter the real world, and start my loan repayment.

Do you love yourself? YES! If I can't love myself than no one can!

If you were your own coach, how would you guide yourself? DARE TO SUCK!

Inspired: Frances

2011-06-27T17:11:00.000-04:00

This denim jacket. This hair do. This acceptance speech. This mug shot. THIS IS HOW YOU MAKE HEADLINES.

Inspired: Tina

2011-06-27T17:08:00.002-04:00

Inspired: Mariska

2011-06-27T17:05:00.001-04:00

"It is by living courageously - daily - with a deep belief in our personal vision that we achieve true success."-- Mariska Hargitay.

Inspired: John

2011-06-27T17:02:00.003-04:00

"Now, if you can write, act, design and reveal the human condition. If you can open up minds and hearts, and if you can leave a little piece of your soul on that stage every single night then you are the theatre that I love and fight for."--John Leguizamo

WILD THE TAME

2011-06-27T16:58:00.000-04:00

TUMBLR

Throwback

2011-06-27T16:57:00.002-04:00

Thanks to Chris Kent for unearthing this ancient photo. Raven, Robbie, Drew, and I (or "The Fiddler Four") backstage of Actors' Playhouses 2004 production of Fiddler on the Roof.

Gypsy Life

2011-06-26T15:11:00.005-04:00

Woah, I don't think my blogging (or lack thereof) has ever been this bad. But I guess that's what happens when you join the real world and have to start working. As many of you know, I'm currently stage managing Madeline and the Gypsies over at Actors' (we opened this weekend, and run through the beginning of Aug). It has been a... rough experience. I'm in a safe a comfortable place in a totally DIFFERENT dynamic... and that adjustment was a lot harder than I anticipated. Stage managing on this level has been... overwhelming... but good and necessary. It's teaching me a lot about anticipation and patience. And I think now that the show has opened I'll be able to find my groove and get to the place I need to be. If you are currently working on a show right now please take some time out to hug your stage manager and let them now they are appreciated--we often (I often) take for granted what the do for us.

New Plays
Get ready for an announcement soon on THE NEW(EST) PLAY PROJECT, a festival of new plays by Miami (student) playwrights, happening this summer! I'll be premiering (and acting in) my new piece Starf*ckers. This is gonna be some exciting stuff!

Ask the Cards
Just recently got my first Tarot deck... and I'm probably having too much fun with it. I don't know what exactly I'm expecting to come from these readings... clarity perhaps. Hmm. I'll just ask the cards.

Caffeine and Cardio
Those are the magic words this summer. All the baristas at my Starbucks know I need my doppio espesso fix at least twice a day, and I've learned to channel all my rage/frustration from the day (remember, I work with little kids) into 9PM cardio every night. SO good.

Bossypants
This is a MUST-READ. Like, right now. Go!

Peripheral Vision

2011-05-20T18:35:00.000-04:00

Thoughts of late: out of focus, but always there.

Theatre as the Art of Humanity
I am constantly inspired, uninspired, and re-inspired by humanity. And I will forever be attracted to the theatre for its brash exploration of the feats and failures of humanity. Turning the light on in the darkest corner, and starting the conversation on the unspoken. Whatever I do with my life, whether I'm on the stage/screen or writing for it, I want to dig deep and make people think, inspire people to take action. Start the conversation.

Visionary vs Actionary
I spent most of my sophomore year chemistry class getting my palm read, stars analyzed, and soul identified by my chem partner Aedryan. I became a much more spiritual person, trusting in the universe and learning from the stars. I was happy when he told me I had a Visionary Soul because I take pride in having a vision, artistically and personally. I have so many dreams and ideas; for projects, plays, musicals, career paths. I'm almost ADD about it, which would account for the dozen half-written plays sitting in my docs folder. Or maybe that could explain my ever changing day-to-day aspirations of being a stage star, tv actor, film star, performance artist, director, playwright, mockumentist, theatre critic, or photographer. I want to do it all. I want to be the Tina Fey/Christopher Guest/Mariska Hargitay/John Leguizamo of my time. So what am I doing to get there? Turning those Visions into Actions. Following through.

Not Checking Out, Not Going Home
Something just clicked for me in that last paragraph. In Declan Donnellan's "The Actor and the Target" he pushes that we "don't go home". Ideally home is a safety blanket, like the safety of our own mind. As someone who enjoys her own thoughts entirely too much, I can understand the safety (and entertainment) of living inside your head. I know when I am present, and I know when I've checked out... and I take great care in making sure I am present and engaged when I need to be. But I'm no superhero, there are days when my heart's not "there" in the scene (usually because my brain is taking too large a presence). I could go crazy trying to make myself connect, but then I would get stuck in just the thought of connecting and not the action. It's like when someone tells you to concentrate on something, instead of concentrating on that thing you are concentrating on concentrating. So instead of digging myself into this ditch I check in with myself and focus on my breath for a second (usually by this time I would have forgotten about breathing). I relax. Laugh a little (where would we be without our sense of humor). Allow the possibility of failure. And then give myself permission to be more accessible. We have all the tools already, it's just about being brave enough to use them. Thinking isn't brave, acting is. It just takes courage, friends. Following through.

Taking Things Personally
"Humans beings are animals that take things personally"- Declan Donnellan. BRILLIANT, right? Ok, so I understand our right to take things personally. "I'm a human being damnit! I have the ability to feel and re-act, of course I'm gonna take things personally!" But I also understand the laws of moderation. Red wine, sunlight, coffee, anger... all things that can be good for you in moderation. So when someone is spinning out of control in the "taking-things-too-personally" department I like to gently remind them that though their feelings are completely warranted they can't take everything personally, they'll go insane. We see the world as we believe it, so when we start thinking everyone hates us suddenly everyone's interactions with us, however minuscule, seem like monstrous attacks against us. This is where taking things personally gets dangerous, when I ignore what I'm doing to you so I can focus on what you're doing to me. That's just selfish. Again, I'm no superhero, and I sometimes angrily wonder why my friends aren't texting to hang out, why this person is treating me a certain way, why I wasn't invited to that party. But then I stop, breathe, and think about how I've treated THEM lately. My friends haven't texted me tonight because they think I'm watching Law & Order. This person is treating me this way because I wasn't there for them when they had that problem. I wasn't invited to that party because I never bothered to be friends with that particular person. I've watched a lot of people get stuck in the "I have no friends" pity party. And they expect if they cry loud enough eventually someone will come be their friend. Here's a clue, NO ONE wants to go to a pity party. Suck it up. Instead of wallowing in your unhappiness try and see the good in things. People want to hang out with happy people. End of story.

Obedience in a Rule-Breaking Business, or just plain old R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Acting school is tricky business. Like, a grading system for acting... is that even fair? So schools have to make acting curriculums a bit more academic; the character analysis', research papers, play reports, six steps, rehearsal reflections, actor critiques... all the "invisible work". I respect that, and know that grades won't always reflect my talent. So I get a little frustrated when people expect to slide by just being talented... mostly because I respect my teachers too much. I don't buy the "my actor instincts told me to do the opposite of what you wanted" or the "I don't want to write this acting paper for fear I'll get stuck in my head". You're in school to do work. So shut up and do it.

Seeking Softness
My friends know that I can be rough around the edges when I'm in work mode.. hell, I know I can be rough around the edges when I'm in work mode. I feel like I've always been the person to make sure things get done, bite off more than I can chew, and desperately prove my competence. I mean, did you just read my last paragraph? but an interesting thing about theatre, and "working on our craft" is that life experience is just as valuable as an hour rehearsing a scene. So would that mean that we're always in work mode if everything we do in life will potentially help our acting? I think back to my senior year playwriting class, when my teacher told me I write like a boxer. Sparring. My writing is a reflection of my thoughts, so I guess I think with the same punch too. That's when I realized I come off way more aggressive than I mean to. It's not something I've tried to change, just something I've noticed and accepted. I was reminded of all this a few weeks ago when my acting teacher's end of the year advice was to seek the softness in my work. I've never considered myself to be a delicate person, so it's an interesting dynamic I want to play around with. Ffffun.

Gratitude
I have little post-its everywhere to remind me things like my affirmation and the law of attraction. I have one that asks "What are you grateful for today?", and every morning I wake up and name these things. So I get to live my day in thanks to all the opportunities I've been given. It's calming, and I feel so blessed. Gratitude laughs at bad days. Remember that.

Law & Order: SVU or A Lesson in Being Aware of Your Surroundings
I finished all 12 seasons of L&O:SVU, just in time to watch the season finale air on Wednesday night. That is 272 episodes. Almost 200 hours. And over a full week of my life. I'm sure there are pills that can be subscribed to me for this addiction. What was the draw? Solid, story-driven writing held together by a rock-solid cast of sympathetic characters that I actually cared about. Mariska especially who I look up to as an actor and human being, and whose character Olivia Benson I identify with on the alpha-female level. Oh, and then there is Chris Meloni's sexiness... that's a major plus. But what has this show taught me?
1. The unfortunate statistics of sexual assault, domestic violence, and child abuse. It's the last thing anyone wants to talk about, but awareness is important. I was also turned onto Mariska Hargitay's Joyful Heart Foundation and her efforts in spreading awareness and ending the backlog. It's inspiring work, and I hope one day to get involved in something like this and use my acting to make a difference.
2. We should always be aware of our surrounding. Sometimes I convince myself the world is only full of good, and I am untouchable. Wrong. We should all watch out for ourselves and our friends.
3. If you watch enough crime scenes on TV your dreams will turn into crime scenes too. Awesome.
4. Add in melatonin and you've got some CRAZY awesome crime scene dreams.

VelociRapture
I want to have a VelociRapture party. Everyone dresses up as a dinosaur. Extra points if you bring your own bible. Oh, and is this my last blog post ever? Uh oh!

Tia, Party of Fierce
I miss Boston, and all my friends. Here's a shout out to Tia and her blogfor reminding me that I'm not crazy.

Gavin
And last but certainly not least, if you could spare some light, love, and prayers for my dear friend Gavin... he's going through some tough times and he and his family could sure use the support from all corners of the country. Love you, Gav. xoxo

Vamos a la Playa

2011-05-11T14:32:00.001-04:00

Oh... and I'm home for the summer.

Hello Miami!

Special Consumed Unit

2011-05-11T14:19:00.002-04:00

Ok blog, here's the deal. I don't have time for you because I am currently consumed by Law & Order SVU. I think I might have mentioned him before. I'm on Season 7, so you should be happy to know that I'm half way done, and I'll come back to you eventually.

So as of now...
144 Episodes.
Almost 104 hours.
Which is a little over 4 days of my life.

What problem?

On a Staircase

2011-05-04T09:04:00.006-04:00

I'm sitting in the staircase of my dorm, waiting for the storage guys to come pick up my boxes sometime between 9-11 (thanks for being specific!). Listening to somebody ignore their alarm clock upstairs (seriously, just wake up or hit snooze), and the guy who is listening to jazz downstairs. It's hot where I am. Probably because it took me a good 20 minutes to move 4 boxes bigger than myself down 3 flights of stairs (seriously, my favorite thing to do at 8:30 AM).

Packing was way harder than I thought it'd be. Figuring out what to take home, and what to leave here in storage for 4 months. I'm leaving the majority of my plays here. That was hard, and I felt legitimately sorry for them. All the posters in my room are down, everything decorating the walls... it's depressing. Bailey moved out of her room a few days ago, and since she lives in a small single she felt like she was in a prison cell. So she moved her bedding, and moved into my room. Sleeeepover. Oh. And I watched Tia pack for a bit, while I wrote a paper. She's clearly doing a great job.

Finals week is... well, a joke compared to real academic schools. Sunday we had our two big finals: tap and anatomy. Monday morning we played MT Taboo and "Name that Showtune" in History of MT (granted we had a HUGE paper due that day), and then we had acting Share Day (doing our scenes for other cores). Yesterday was nothing... I shipped some boxes, packed more, watch Law & Order. Today I've got my semester evaluation meeting. Tomorrow is theory and stagecraft (hundred bucks says we'll be cleaning the theatre), and then I'm done! I'll be back in Miami on Saturday for 4 months. That's a looong time. I'm working a good portion of the summer, but I still get the feeling that a month into break I'll be ready to come back. Oh well. We'll see.

My freshman year of college is ending quicker than I could have imagined. My mom was in town last weekend for Freshman Revue. That was SO nice having her here. The show was great, and a ton of fun.

Oh, and my mom and I saw the Chihuly exhibit at the MFA. Cool stuff.

You can probably expect a freshman year reflection type post to come in the next week once I actually leave this place. Ciao for now.

Freshmen '14

2011-04-23T23:43:00.001-04:00

Rockets Go Up!

2011-04-23T23:38:00.002-04:00

Fantastic poster by Matt!

Terrible Joys

2011-04-13T13:09:00.005-04:00

Hey blog... sorry... I've been busy. Last night we closed our staged reading of Allegro where I was a featured dancer. Anyone get the joke? Anyway, it's a little gem of a show I'm glad to know, and add to my rep.

And now we go full out into Rockets Go Up! (Freshman Revue) rehearsal... I'll post details soon. Exciting!

Now onto Terrible Joys. My acting teacher used this phrase, "the terrible joy of acting", to describe that terrifying and vulnerable place we must put ourselves sometimes into scenes/plays. But lately I've been feeling the "terrible joy of writing". I might have blogged about this when it happened, but last semester I had a dream. In it, my Senior year playwrighting teacher was giving me writing advice. He said, "Write what hurts you the most". Ouch. How much more terrible can it get than that? This dream shook me, but I couldn't write. I was blocked. So I forgot about it and got wrapped up in 5 million other things. But then two major things happened... 1) I saw John Leguizamo's one person show on Broadway, Ghetto Klown, and came to the conclusion that my only job is to be a person. 2) Barbara Cook was in residency at BoCo last week, and gave an INSPIRING master class, and she said, "You are enough". Great, right? And then she referenced Kafka with "art must be the axe for the frozen sea within us". We need to bleed into the canvas. So I started to write. I made a list of the things I know hurt me most, and dove in. By the 6th page I was crying, revisiting a shocking and less articulate time of my life... when we lost Ginny. And the writing is painful and releasing at the same time, and I can't stop. So I've been in a weird place these last two weeks... putting myself back in that mind-set to write what moves me. The terrible joys of writing.

I'm also mid-way through Season 3 of Law & Order: SVU. To say that I am obsessed with this show would be an understatement. I don't know what draws me to it so much. I've always like mystery books... I remember this one series called Encyclopedia Brown that I used to read in elementary school. Or it could be that I identify with Olivia Benson. Or maybe just that Mariska Hargitay is one of my favorite actors. But then there's the thought that I just watch it to give perspective on my life. When I think I have problems I turn on Law & Order and am reminded my life is perfectly fine.
I don't watch the news... I used to, when I lived at home in Miami. My dad always had it on. That used to give me perspective. But I don't have a TV up here, just Netflix. And in Law & Order they catch the bad guy, and in the end the victim takes off their bruised make-up, gets Ice-T's autograph, and picks up a check. TV is so much more satisfying than real life.

19 Somewhere

2011-04-04T23:26:00.003-04:00

A bit of perspective.

Today Ginny turns 19... somewhere... not in an earthly sense, but in a spiritual sense. She's not here, but I've never felt her closer.

Ginny has always been a reminder to me that life needs to be lived at the fullest--in ecstasy. We never know how limited our time is here. Life has a way of catching you off guard. At this particular moment in time I feel "humanity" being reinforced. What it is to be a human. It's messy. Ambivalent. Inspiring. Tragic. Embarrassing. Aggravating. Satisfying. A rollercoaster of events, emotions, intentions, actions... and often time we lose sight on the bigger picture. Sometimes I forget there's room to make mistakes, fall down, be wrong, be heartbroken, make bad judgment calls... but we would never grow without these moments in life. So I'm thankful for them right now. These moments remind me I'm human. They remind me I'm alive.

My job is to be a person. I never wanna forget that.

And though the sky shared my tears today, I was able to smile a little extra today for my favorite angel. Happy Birthday, Ginny. Miss you more than words can say.

Charlie Brown

2011-04-02T17:13:00.007-04:00

You're A Good Man Charlie Brown directed by Carolyn Miller at The Boston Conservatory, March 2011.

Get By

2011-04-02T16:55:00.002-04:00

I get by with a little help from my friends.

I like to help people, because usually I end up helping myself. For me it's important to pay attention to the people I'm most inclined to reach out to... because usually the advice I want to give them is advice I want to give myself. And for the people that push my buttons, I focus a lot on the mirror... what are they reflecting about me? I figure it out. I am aware of myself. Accept. Move on. Through other peoples problems I can work out my own faults. And I'm left with the humbling sense that we are all works in progress.

Ghetto Angels

2011-03-27T22:56:00.010-04:00

It's been a great week in the I-Love-What-I-Do department.

It started on Thursday, catching the National Tour of HAIR while it was in Boston. First of all, I love this production (I saw it on Broadway too) and had sooo much fun. But what was unique to this experience was the talk back with the cast, director Diane Paulus, and book/lyricist James Rado. They had so many wonderful things to say about working on the show, and how it is food for the soul-- and I believe it. I think that's a major reason why I've always loved Hair, it is soul-exposing. People throw themselves into it, and that's what is most essential to artistry: diving in.

And then there was yesterday. A 24 hour adventure to NYC to shock the senses and re-invigorate ourselves for the rest of the semester. One of the most important things I've learned this year is how crucial it is to remind yourself what you're working towards. It gets way to easy to get caught up in school stuff, as if this conservatory was the entire universe, so it becomes absolutely necessary to leave the "bubble" for a change in perspective. Yesterday was EXACTLY what I needed.

6 AM- South Station to catch our bus.
10 AM- Here! And we're missing Tia, who had to tech Mikado this weekend... so a picture with her spirit.

Gavin and I walked Off-Broadway and snagged seats to Angels in American (Millennium Approaches) at Signature Theatre. Simply stunning. Like... I have no words. The angel stormed in the final scene and I was overcome by emotion and completely speechless. Peter Brook talks about a "Holy Theatre", and this production was that for me--transcendent. I loved to be moved.

Dinner at Stardust... touristy, but fun.

And then we all go our separate ways to see what we want. Gavin won the lotto for Priscilla, and went with a friend. Bailey, Rachel, and Matt went to see Sutton Foster in Anything Goes. And I went by myself to see John Leguizamo's Ghetto Klown--best decision I've ever made. I really got into John Leguizamo last year in our senior acting class when we started watching his one person shows to inspire our own, and he really propelled my playwriting forward. He is easily one of my favorite actor/writers because he was such a clear voice, one that is totally his. So how could I pass up an opportunity to see him live? Ghetto Klown was on another level of funny, I seriously don't remember the last time I laughed that hard. But most importantly it made me feel home. And it started with the audience, it was like all of South America was there. And then there's the amount of Spanglish in the show. I always forget how much I miss hearing Spanish until it is finally spoken, and the fact that he's Colombian made it so much more personal. He's doing his spot-on impersonation of his mother, and all I can think of is my own. For two hours I sat on the edge of my seat (literally, being in the Balcony), just fully immersed in his story. In him. An actors job is to be a person. And that's what he does, effortlessly and with so much heart. I met him afterwards. He was signing autographs, not looking up at people, and just kinda laughed at the 30-something-year-old latina's saying stupid things to him. He was signing mine and I said "I can't thank you enough, you inspire me so much as an actor and a writer". He looks up at me saying, "Thanks, baby", and he pauses looking at me and then asks, "You write?". I said, "One day", at which he smiled and winked, "Keep at it". -This is the part where I die and go to heaven-

We all meet up again at the steps in Times Square. We take pictures and talk about the mind-blowing theatrical experiences we all had.

Shake Shack. Yum. Midnight comes and we sing Matt an obnoxiously loud rendition of Happy Birthday. And then we head out to the middle of nowhere and wait outside for an HOUR in the freezing cold until our bus finally comes. As we step off the bus into Boston it is 6 AM again. Finally in bed by 7. Up again at 9 for rehearsal till 2, and then after 2 I knock out until this evening. Perfect.

I literally can't wait for the next chance I have to go to the city. I'm aiming for mid-April early-May. So I can see Book of Mormon and H2$ which are both getting sensational reviews. They were both incredibly sold out for this trip, but hey, it just gives me an excuse to go back!

Keep Moving

2011-03-27T22:07:00.002-04:00

MR. LIES: It's the price of rootlessness. Motion sickness. The only cure: to keep moving.

I "hit the ground running" a lot. Live fast. Enjoy things deeply. Am constantly inspired, uninspired, and re-inspired. I think and do, sometimes not in that order. I focus on the greater picture, and photoshop the details. I plan ahead. I learn to follow impulse and intuition. I keep my eyes wide open. Heart wide open. Self-discover/Self-analyise/Self-evaluate. Share. Care. Listen. Talk. Laugh. Read. Learn. Love. Write. Lead. Follow. Judge.

I move. Forward motion... because more than anything I hate to be stuck.

Now about Rootlessness. Don't get me wrong, I've got my roots as a person--a family, home, and friends. In fact I have multiple families, homes, and friends. But when it comes to my work... the gypsy life of an artist... that's where the motion sickness starts. I love the idea of moving from place-to-place/show-to-show... but the uncertainty of it all, the instability, THAT is scary. Let's add in the student loans I'll be paying off and we have ourselves an adventure. But all I can do is keep moving, right?

My job is to be a person, I never want to forget that. That has been at the forefront of my thoughts lately... being a person, and embracing ambivalence.

Baby 3/11

2011-03-27T21:58:00.004-04:00

Photos from Baby, directed by Dan Sullivan at The Boston Conservatory March 20-22, 2011.

Covers

2011-03-22T15:12:00.000-04:00

I love listening to people cover music and put their own twist on things. Here's what I can't get enough of...

... and while we're on the subject of Adele (you all know how obsessed I am with her), if you youtube search Adele Dubstep you can find some sick remixes of her hits. So awesome.

And just for shits and giggles...

Fry-ee-day

2011-03-22T13:01:00.002-04:00

Ok, I need to comment on how trendy bad music right now. This all started with Rebecca Black's viral music video "Friday", that sources say is the "worst song ever written". Not only is this one of the worst songs ever written, but Black is possibly one of the worst singers to have a semi-legitamate music video. Clearly Auto-Tune is used, which is sad because it still doesn't fix her singing. And I can't get over her butchering of the word "friday". Listen for yourself...

This video has over 34 million views, and Black has been the subject of cyberbullying as people comment "go die", "i hope you get an eating disorder and cut yourself". But she's stuck to her guns and seriously insists that it's a good song. AND to prove that she can sing she released an acoustic version of "Friday"...

Fail.

Also making smaller waves is Jenna Rose, a 12 year old who sings "My Jeans". Very similar to the tween pop style of "Friday", and includes lyrics like "ha ha ha ha, jack my swag". Jack my swag?! REALLY? That's worse than Black's "we so excited".

Now I'd like to bring up The Gemz. For those who might remember, they were a tween pop band in Miami and featured my very good friend Sarah Crane. I think they were way ahead of there time, and if they released music videos now they would be legendary. They've got that whole innocent tween pop vibe AND good voices AND sweet dance moves. I miss The Gemz.

August: Osage County; Actors' Playhouse

2011-03-21T22:00:00.003-04:00

The perks of going away to college include being a good 1,500 miles away from your embarrassingly dysfunctional family. Thankfully for me I am reminded how sane my family is after spending some of my Spring Break with the Weston’s in Tracy Letts’ August: Osage County at Actors’ Playhouse. Under the direction of David Arisco, Lett’s gripping story and razor sharp dialogue never lose momentum in this 3½ hour epic. And speaking of epic, my jaw literally dropped as I entered the theatre and took in the massive 3-story house cut open, beautifully designed by Sean McClelland. But the cast is what gets me really excited, and it is this top notch ensemble of South Florida’s finest that make this show a must-see this season.

Photo curtesy of Actors' Playhouse.

Arisco directs Annette Miller, Laura Turnbull, Stephen G. Anthony, Barbara Bradshaw, Dennis Creaghan, Erik Fabregat, Peter Haig, Kathryn Lee Johnson, David Kwiat, Amy McKenna, Jackie Rivera, Cecilia Isis Torres, and Gregg Weiner.

Ok, so the Weston family works like this: Poet/alcoholic Beverly Weston (Dennis Creaghan) and drug-abusing Violet Weston (Annette Miller) are married and have three children: bitter Barbara (Laura Turnbull), plain Ivy (Kathryn Lee Johnston), and ditzy Karen (Amy McKenna). Barbara is married to Bill (David Kwiat), a professor, and their daughter is 14-year-old pothead Jean (Jackie Rivera). Karen’s fiancée is Steve (Stephen G. Anthony), a businessman from Miami. Ivy has a thing for her loser of a cousin, Little Charles (Erik Fabgregat), whose parents are Charlie (Peter Haig) and Violet’s sister Mattie Fae (Barbara Bradshaw). The entire family has assembled at the house in Osage County, Oklahoma after Beverly has gone missing... this is where the drama ensues. And last there is the Cheyenne housekeeper Johnna (Cecilia Isis Torres) keeping the peace and Sheriff Deon Gilbeau (Gregg Weiner) who comes in to tie up loose ends.

Miller as the pill-popping matriarch is wildly over-the-top which at times is right on target, but too often crosses the line of reality and feels contrived. The tendency to over-indicate her condition is a trite “look at me!” effort—which seems true to the character, but I’m not buying it. But hey—the women in the ladies room during intermission were raving about Miller’s performance and how relatable she is, so maybe it’s just my age showing. –shrug-

The real star of the show is Turnbull who simply epitomizes good acting—end of story. Above all things, I’d go see this show again just for the chance to watch her journey once more. The rest of the cast is stellar, but I especially enjoyed Creaghan’s introduction, Bradshaw’s bite, always dead-on Haig, and Rivera who despite not being as seasoned as the other actors delivers on their level.

There are a few things that didn’t quite gel for me. My favorite quality of the show is the prevailing sense of unease in such a hostile environment, which is nicely done here, but in the original Broadway production it is driven even further by Johnna who doesn’t crack a smile—a dynamic I would have enjoyed here. You’ll also read in other reviews that sight lines are sometimes a problem, which is true, and I agree that the dinner scene suffers the most from it. But what pulled me most out of the play were the women behind me who abandoned all audience etiquette and pretty much narrated the entire story for me. How about next time we sit back and let the actors show us what’s going on, yeah? Awesome!—like this play… which I highly recommend if you haven’t already gathered.

If You Go:
August: Osage County
Actors’ Playhouse at the Miracle Theatre
280 Miracle Mile
Coral Gables, Florida 33134

Playing through April 3rd
Wed-Sun @ 8 PM

PS. Who else excited about Hairspray and the return of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (the first mainstage I ever saw at AP—I was 7)??

Ignite the Light

2011-03-21T21:27:00.002-04:00

My brother recently picked up the art of Poi! So he gave us a mini performance in my backyard over Spring Break, and he's really awesome at it. I, however, am not too awesome at photographing it.

Spring Break/Sprain/Pain

2011-03-16T23:46:00.003-04:00

Day 3 of being in Miami for Spring Break, and it is obvious I've forgotten how to run downstairs in flip flops... judging by my mildly swollen and bruised left ankle. I saying it's mild because I'm hoping if I convince myself it's getting better then will actually start to get better. So far it's crushed my beach plans. Fingers crossed that tomorrow I'll wake up and it will be better to the point that I can go out and see some theatre while I'm down... I mean, it's only peak season, right?

It's late... well, not really considering the fact I've been going to bed between 3:30-4 AM every night for the last week and a half. But I'm trying to get myself back on a kinda normal sleeping cycle. So I'm blogging as I wait for the melatonin to kick in. (Interesting side fact: melatonin gives me the most awesome dreams).

Born ~~This Way~~ To Play

Ok. Musicals. Obviously, seeing as it is my major, I listen to them. I see them nearly twice a week. I read up on them. And I THINK about them all the time. Like, I'm convinced I devote to much time to the mere thought of musical theatre, as I see/hear things and try to formulate coherent opinions on them. And I enjoy it all... probably too much. That thought occurred to me last Monday night/Tuesday morning at 3:30 AM as I was finishing an early draft of my Musical Theatre History midterm essay(s), trying to email it soon enough to give my professor time to read/edit/tear apart and an equal amount of turn around time for me to re-write and re-work it before its Friday deadline. And though I was tired, dreading the music theory class I had to wake up for in 4 hours, I was so THRILLED. I had spent nearly 7 hours of my night listening, analyzing, and writing about "Tradition" (Fiddler on the Roof), "Some People" (Gypsy), "Brotherhood of Men" (H2$), and Hair.... and I was really just beside myself with satisfaction that THIS is my work. How lucky am I to GET to do this, and for a grade! But anyway, back to Born to Play. I've talked to my fellow classmates about this theory, and we also seem to agree that there are some musicals we are born to be in. It's interesting too because I wouldn't say these musicals are necessarily my all-time favorites, they're just musicals I need to be in. Music I need to sing. A story I need to help tell. I'm trying to figure out the connecting thread between all these musicals, and what that might say about my own character... I'll alert the world when i find it. I think the really interesting thing is that these musicals aren't at all dream roles, because I could play a the 7th girl to left and still feel complete.

So, what are these shows?:
Fiddler on the Roof
Ragtime
Les Miserables
Parade
Hair
Rent

Which you see differs greatly from dream roles which (as of now) include:
Diana (Next to Normal)
Violet (Violet)
Schwartzy (Spelling Bee)
Maria (West Side Story) (dont laugh)
Kate Monster (Avenue Q)
Nellie (Floyd Collins)
Ilse (Spring Awakening)

hmm... just thinking out loud. I won't even go into the extensive list of shows I want to direct! That'll be another blog post. Eyelids are getting heavy.

And for some reason I've been getting numerous anonymous comments on various posts asking me what my favorite musical is. It's a list that is always changing as I see new shows and fall in love with old ones. But as of right now, and probably the last 3 years, it has been a tie between Ragtime and Parade.

Cabaret 3/11

2011-03-06T23:57:00.005-05:00

Some photos from Daniel George's senior directed production of Cabaret at The Boston Conservatory. March 4-5, 2011.

Peer Pressure

2011-03-01T23:17:00.001-05:00

I joined Twitter...

http://twitter.com/#!/alexisscheer

... follow me.

Bat Boy 2/11

2011-03-01T23:03:00.003-05:00

Some shots I took of Ben Simpson's production of Bat Boy here at The Boston Conservatory. (Feb 27-28, 2011)

Sigh No More

2011-03-01T22:56:00.003-05:00

I've managed to put Adele's 21 down for the first time in a month to listen to something else. (My roommates are getting pretty annoyed with me listening to only one album). I picked up Mumford & Sons album "Sigh No More" right after the Grammy's (I really digged their sound). The album is great, and I highly recommend it. Some of my faves off it...

March Madness

2011-03-01T22:37:00.003-05:00

HAPPY MARCH!

Photo by Spice on Flickr.

A few things... I've seen 11 shows in the past 2 weeks. Those were Drag Show, Cymbeline, A New Brain, The Pride, Hard Candy (x3), John and Jen, BoCo Backwards, Bat Boy, and Prometheus Bound. Crazy? What? .... Theatre overload. And this week I add One Touch of Venus and Cabaret to the list.

Goodbye February and Hello March! Up on the calendar... see shows, auditions, midterms, SPRING BREAK IN MIAMI! (aka try to see how many shows I can see in one week and how much cuban coffee i can drink), spring recital, nyc, more auditions, and see more theatre. This should be fun!

Closer

2011-02-26T15:14:00.003-05:00

In middle school I would read Broadway.com during lunch. Catch up on the headlines, familiarize myself with the people working on stage, and wish with everything I had that I would be apart of this one day.

I stopped when I got into high school. There was no time for it. And strangely I stopped caring who would be starring in the millionth revival of whatever musical. There was no use in seeing what would be hitting Broadway, because I was too young, too far, too broke to hop on a plane and see the things I want. I got into reading up on what was happening locally. And SoFla had a lot to offer, and it was satisfying. Why? Because it was close. It was personal. These are people I know and have worked with at theaters I've grown up with.

I'm in college now. Playbill.com has made its way back to my favorites bar, and I read it more than Perez Hilton (now thats saying something). Miami-theatre-related blogs are slowly being replaced by NY-based-blogs on my favorites bar. I just stopped to think about why. Why I care again. And it's a few things:
1. It's my job to care.
2. Instead of being 1,000 miles away from the apple, I'm 200. I actually have the ability to see the stuff they report on.
3. Suddenly I KNOW people that are getting written about. Like, personally know them. I always forget how small the theatre community really is.
The point I'm trying to make is that I feel closer. Physically closer, and closer to being apart of it all.

Hard Candy Photos

2011-02-24T15:01:00.004-05:00

Hard Candy by Brian Nelson. Directed by Whitney Conkling. The Boston Conservatory Zack Box Feb 22 2011.

Photos for Geoff's house.

View From Above

2011-02-21T23:38:00.001-05:00

I wrote my last post in an interesting place... a momentary lapse of composure. And for those that know me, you know how much I fight to alwaaaays keep my composure. I somehow forget I'm allowed, WE are allowed, to feel the whole spectrum of emotions. I somehow got it stuck in my head that if I let myself feel a certain something I won't be able to get out of it. Not true. And in fact, the more you resist something the more it persists. Simple. It's something I understand, but it's got quite a journey to go from my brain to heart. It's just something I need to keep reminding myself it. But in the mean time I am thankful for elasticity. Flexible feelings.

These flexible feelings let me fall down and get right back up again. Last week I was FREAKING out because of everything I had to do. Well, the three papers I had due today: 2 were canceled and the last was canceled. Last night we opened Hard Candy, and it went SO well! Tonight we go for round two, and tomorrow we close. And it's been just such a great learning experience. Like, now I can run a light board. Oh, and I can add crafting testicles to my resume... because, lucky me, I get to carve plums every night for the castration scene. Seriously, I love the theatre.

There is really nothing like a good ole cathartic acting class Monday morning to help you face the things you fear/hate/crave most in life. Flexible feelings, right? It's the ones that I can't label that really get me. The things I have no words for... too complicated... too mixed... contradictions, actually. And it was this nameless mountain I faced this morning through the words of Neil Labute. And it was hard. There is nothing easy about facing the rough. The first two times were controlled, rehearsed, safe, and mentally blocked. Then the third time was an obstacle. Frustration. Then the breaking point (Tyler accidentally knocking me in the jaw, actually). And I was set off. It was loud, impulsive, dangerous, and completely out of my control. Then I think I'm done. I sit down. I get feedback. I barely hear the words being spoken to me because I'm trying SO hard to compose myself, and brush back this never ending stream of tears. Trying so hard to label and categorize this nameless mountain so I can tuck it away in my mental file and be done with it. But it wasn't happening. The images were to clear. They fit too perfectly with Labute's words. And while I'm lost in these thoughts I just hear "start it again", my mouth opens, and the text comes out... organically. Words stabbing me in the chest. Suddenly it's done. And while I'm smothered in hugs and approval from my core, all I can notice is this overwhelming sense of humanity. THIS is the ambivalence I have craved for! It is a beautiful mess. I am at peace for a moment, and I quietly thank the universe.

Loving theatre. Sorry, I'm gonna sound like a dorky, naive freshman theatre major here... but I love what I do. And not just these fully present moments onstage... but the process. Putting it together... I love the creativity. Edison light bulbs hanging from the grid. The camaraderie. Building roof tops in the early hours of the morning. The resourcefulness. Collecting frozen branches from the Fens. Our move-in for Hard Candy started Saturday night around 9 pm and went well into the next morning. And it was so refreshing to just watch a show being built. People trekking 5 blocks with their couch. Giving up (and moving) their bed for the weekend for the sake of theatre. People with a game plan for success, and with the heart and sense of humor to get it done in a fun and effective way.

...... 6 hour break for class, laundry, and a show....

And now I sit up here in my friends room while she's at rehearsal. Tonights show went well... different audience... different reactions... different feel. But all still good anyway. And we do it one last time tomorrow night! Then semi-freedom. Robbie comes in this weekend. I see 2248724894 shows in the next couple weeks. And before you know it I'm back home for Spring Break mid-March!

Hmm. What else? I'm writing a paper on a musical I find underrated for my history of musical theatre class. Two weeks ago I turned in a paper on how overrated Spring Awakening is... it wasn't an easy write, but I'm really happy with the points I was able to articulate. So what do I find to be underrated enough to argue over in a paper? Ragtime? The Light in the Piazza? Floyd Collins? The Full Monty? Bat Boy? Urinetown? Violet? Nope... none of these. I'm writing about Annie. Now THIS has been a hard paper to write. And I just got my draft back, so I have until Wednesday to shape it up. But it's sooooo fun! And I have to talk about my musical theatre history class I'm taking this semester. It is hands down one of my favorite classes I have ever been in. And that's for a few reasons: 1) our teacher is a musical theatre encyclopedia, 2) it's making me a sharper theatergoer, 3) our teacher is a crazy good editor and is helping my writing in theatre criticism so much better.

Shifting

2011-02-15T23:35:00.004-05:00

I'll organize this numerically.

1. February Funk seems to be where I find myself. Today was the first day (in Boston) I let myself feel completely overwhelmed by life. We open Hard Candy on Sunday. I have SO many papers and projects due within the next week. There is a stomach virus and flu going around. It's freezing. And I miss the sun!!

2. I reminded myself that I can't get any work done feeling this way. And I knew instead of ignoring it and bottling up I should just completely surrendered myself to it. Give myself a set time to feel sorry for myself. I had an hour. Listened to Adele. Cried. Vented on the phone to someone I wish wasn't 1,500 miles away. Felt better. Jammed to Florence. And Smiled. I finished one of my papers and started another, and to treat myself I went and saw A New Brain. We're all allowed to freak out once in a while, right?

3. My ballet teacher has a blog. I'll share it eventually, but right now I'm going to be the archeologist not ready to share his treasures until they've all been accounted for. (That analogy made sense in my head). In one of her recent posts she talks about the roles we create for ourselves, and how we kid ourselves playing them. So I've been thinking about my roles... I play a lot of them. And why? Who am I putting on a show for?

4. It's AMAZING to me that all of us seem to be so good at giving advice, but we have the WORST time taking our own. But that's life right? And this is what makes me so incredibly thankful for the people that keep me afloat.

5. This post isn't very wonderful.

6. February is not a good blogging month.

7. And I'm ok with that. :)

8. Re-reading stuff I've written... this jumped at me: Creating Yourself.

9. Congrats to all the Carbonell nominees! Wish I could be there!

10. Melatonin. Over and Out.

Now In Song

2011-02-15T22:53:00.003-05:00

February Funk

21

2011-02-14T18:10:00.002-05:00

There is music... and then there is Adele. Her new sophomore album "21" is pure gold, and the only thing else you need besides it is her first album "19".

Hard Candy

2011-02-14T17:50:00.000-05:00

V Day

2011-02-14T17:16:00.004-05:00

Happy Valentines Day!

Today's VDay will be dedicated to admiring other words that start with the letter V: Victory. Velocity. Vegetable. Vixen. Vitamin. Viking. Village. Voyage. Voyeur. Violet. Vodka. Vagina. Verb. Vintage. Vinyl. Voice. Volcano.

And to help me I've got Adele 21, Tia, Elyse, Upper Crust, and rehearsal. Perfect!

But no, in all seriousness... I love this holiday, and hope you all spend it with the people you love most. :)

Good Morning, February

2011-02-01T19:24:00.005-05:00

This morning I woke up to snow falling... dancing down from the sky. Gorgeous.

Open iTunes: Kid Cudi - Pursuit of Happiness, and then finish getting ready to Jason Mraz's "We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things." on shuffle. Refreshing.

Music theory class. Diminished intervals. Easy.

Mid-way we find out all our classes have been cancelled for the rest of the day. Excitement.

Potato & onion quiche. Yum.

Meeting with Chris about my Spring Awakening paper. We're writing about what we think is the most overrated musical. And though I am thoroughly in love with SA, I can't deny its obvious flaws. And I'm on the right track. Success.

Coffee with Matt. Awake.

Find out that school has been cancelled tomorrow because of the snow. Thrilled.

Call my brother, who turned 16 today. I feel old. Crazy.

Matt's bed for 3 hours writing my paper, photo editing, business planning, and watching the snow fall. Productive. Relaxing.

Laughing with Kasie and Austin. Necessary.

The rest of the potato onion quiche. Yummier.

Blogging. Finally.

February, I like the taste of you.

And goodbye to January... I hoped you enjoyed yesterday's tribal send-off as much as I did.

I reinforce eyes wide open.

Go Snow

2011-01-25T00:30:00.004-05:00

I've renamed BoCo to BoCold. Today it was -2 degrees, but the windchill made it -22. This wasn't mentioned on the acceptance letter.

I bought my first puffy down coat (I look like a burnt marshmellow) and slipped on ice all within the same hour-- I guess this officially makes me a northerner. Well... almost.

And cold weather didn't stop us from a mini photoshoot on Newburry Street. I'll also add that it was DARK when I took these photos, and I took them without flash. I'm kinda diggin' this grainy look.

Go New

2011-01-25T00:28:00.002-05:00

My website has been re-done. Check it out! www.alexisscheer.com

Faster page loading, more photos, youtube video, and easier navigation!

Go

2011-01-21T16:28:00.005-05:00

January is my month of Go. My month of momentum. The month that's gonna shoot me off into the rest of the year with open eyes, a refreshed heart, a sense of humor, and an empty stomach. I'm hungry for life. For experience. For [semi] reckless abandonment. I need to stop screening my feelings, and just let myself FEEL them. Swim in them for a moment, then move on and laugh about it. And then stop and remember all of it for my acting. Right? Because we need to remember everything for our acting. The knot that starts in the chest and reaches down to the stomach when you're anxious. The messy contradiction of butterflies and need to throw glassware when you see his face. Waking up to snow in the morning. Seeing her face in every blonde stranger that passes. The three seconds of wild anticipation when you get a text, and the three minutes of disappointment when it's not the one you've been waiting for. We should live it all, full out.

I've been reading. Declan Donnellan's "The Actor and the Target" and LaVonne Canfield's blog Dare To Suck. And they both have me thinking a lot about Connecting. Breath to Body. Body to Mind. Mind back to Breath. The difference between being in it and not, and how as an actor we must be present without concentrating on being present. This leads me to lots of thought about Control. It doesn't exist. Living is a constant fight for control. And it's futile, but we still fight anyway. So now comes the question, how can we be present without forcing ourself to be so? First we recognized Connecting = Seeing, and Disconnecting = Looking. Donnellan says "'Looking' at implies that I choose where to place my focus. 'Seeing' pays attention to what already exists." // "Seeing implies that what I see will have freedom to surprise me, to be different from what I expected". Confused? The way I see it, "choosing where to place my focus" is me convincing myself I have total control over the things I see, and this thought will automatically blind me to what's actually there... Disconnecting. Seeing is relinquishing control and embracing messiness, right here right now... that's Connecting.

Tune in, turn on, drop out. Tune in with the world around you and all it's possibility. Turn on and engage your mind, body, and spirit. And drop out, because certainty and self-judgment will eat you alive. We've been brainwashed to think ambivalence is something negative. It's not, it's what makes us human.

Go Grow

2011-01-15T21:08:00.000-05:00

Go Soak

2011-01-15T20:49:00.003-05:00

Go Smile

2011-01-15T20:31:00.003-05:00

Go See

2011-01-15T20:17:00.003-05:00

See it. Colin Firth does impeccable work, and makes me feel proud to roll around on the floor in voice/speech class.

Go Do

2011-01-08T16:41:00.004-05:00

Sorry blog... I've been... busy. Teaching, reading, evaluating, reevaluating, thinking, listening, talking, singing, laughing, catching up, shutting up, helping out, giving to, taking from, and watching an obscene amount of Law & Order SVU.

Teacher has been my new title. I'm in the middle of leading a two-week acting intensive at my old middle school, South Miami. It's been quite the experience. Humbling, gratifying, frustrating, invigorating, intimidating, ego-boosting, fun, draining, and moving. When I'm not reminding the last class to be quiet I'm teaching improv and theatre games, Meisner, Linklater, and one-on-one audition coaching (monologue/song work). It's only been a week and I've been moved to tears by the bravery and vulnerability some have shown. I've heard so many times that you don't truly understand something until you have to teach it-- this is true (mostly). It's like a new level of understanding. I think this whole experience has been so beneficial for my craft because now I feel deeply grounded in my training, and that's such a good place for me to be right now.

I took the title of this post from Jonsi's song "Go Do".

/Go do, you'll know how to
Just let yourself, fall into landslide/

/We should always know that we can do anything/

I think I'm gonna make "Go Do" my mantra for this semester. Not get caught up in the thinking, just dive into the doing. Dive In.

Observations:
1. I often lead with my head, instead of my heart. I won't make a judgement on if this is a good or bad thing. I'll only strive for more of a balance.
2. I am horribly indecisive lately, in all matters of my life. I have a hard time deciding what exactly I want; for dinner, from people, from experiences.
3. 2010 made me a passive person, and I do not like that. I'd like to take charge.
4. Miami is a nice break: it reminds me of where I come from. But I need to be back in Boston: it's a clear sign of where I'm going.
5. I have SO many good people in my life. I'm so thankful for all my friends and mentors that constantly love and support me.

Ciao 2010

2010-12-31T12:15:00.002-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEARS!! Here's to 2010, one hell of a year.

New Years Resolution: Write more, read more, and talk hard.

Alexis' Top Ten for 2010 (in chronological order):
1. College auditions/travel. Besides having a blast with some of my best friends in NYC, Chicago, and Pittsburgh, I saw the most incredible theatre: Next to Normal, Hair, and Ragtime on Broadway; and The Brother/Sister Plays at The Steppenwolf.
2. One Person Shows. One of the most gratifying experiences I've had in theatre.
3. New Playwrights Festival '10. Got to play such a great role, AND watch my play get produced!
4. True Life: States '10. We set the bar.
5. Senior Activities: Grad Bash, Prom, Breakfast, Showcase (minus the week leading up to it), and GRADUATION.
6. Finding NEMA. Great people, great music.
7. Anything and everything that has to do with me at The Boston Conservatory. A total dream come true.
8. November, an EXCELLENT month. (NYC, Fat Pig, Robbie, Grickies, Thanksgiving)
9. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. The end has begun.
10. Home for the holidays (teaching, casting, HP world, nineteen, sleeping, tv).

Here's to a happy, safe, and prosperous year to come. I hope you'll be apart of it. Thank you, as always, for reading and supporting-- keep playing on The Playground!

In State for The State

2010-12-31T12:04:00.001-05:00

It looks like I'm back in the sunshine state just in time for The State Theatre Project's next two undertakings, a one-woman shows and their inaugural full-length production! If you don't know about The Project the first thing you should know is that it kicks ass.

They could tell you the rest...

Founded back in November of 2009 by New World School of the Arts Alumni, The State Theatre Project is a People's Theatre. We recognize, acknowledge and embrace our responsibility to presenting work that enhances our relationship with the world in which we live. So!! We strive to promote socially relevant theatrical experiences exploring the use of a variety of art forms toward the goal of “total theatre”. We are committed to unceasingly questioning the state of our world, the state of our country and the state of our community. We are 21st century and mobile. We are vagabonds and gypsies. Our home is where we land. Welcome to the Revolution.

----------

First up is Nictor/Nictoria, a one-woman show written and performed by Shira Abergel. A vaudeville inspired show about performers Nictor/Nictoria, an internationally known dynamic due who do everything from singing and dancing, to boozing and losing. The Project returns to GableStage thanks to the generosity of Joseph Adler, Producing Artistic Director. This show is also a fundraiser in support of their inaugural full-length.

Nictor/Nictoria
The State Theatre Project
GableStage
1200 Anastasia Avenue
Coral Gables, FL 33134

January 10, 2011
Pre-show reception at 8 PM
Tickets: $20 general, $10 student
Check or Cash ONLY at the door

----------

And now drumroll... The State Theatre Project is proud to present their Inaugural Full Production of Billboard by Michael Vukadinovich (Southeastern Premier). Billboard is the story of Andy, a recent college graduate weighed down by student loans, who gets paid a great deal to tattoo a corporate logo on his forehead. His artist girlfriend Katelyn is not impressed, his liberal best friend thinks he's crazy, and now he has to live with it. The decision has both tragic and comic consequences as he comes to learn that the logo is more than just ink on his skin. But Katelyn sees a very unique artistic opportunity. She sees his body as an example of the extent to which consumerism has permeated our daily lives. Billboard is a comedy about the battle between commercialism, fame, art and love. The show is directed by The Project's Producing Artistic Director David Hemphill (New Times Best Actor of 2010, Equus; Carbonell winner, Farragut North; Carbonell nominee, Summer Shorts).

Billboard
The State Theatre Project
Pelican Theatre in Barry University
11300 NE 2nd Avenue
Miami Shores, FL 33161

Thu–Sat, Jan 13 - Jan 22 2011 @ 8pm
Tickets: $20 general, $10 student
Cash ONLY at the door

FOR ALL SHOWS:
Seats can be reserved by calling 706-284-5819
Purchase tickets online at www.StateTheatreProject.org

Become a fan of The Project on Facebook!

HB JC

2010-12-25T00:25:00.000-05:00

Winter, Wait For Me

2010-12-24T20:12:00.002-05:00

Winter break is whizzing by. Non stop. Full out, no marking.

Let's rewind to last Thursday. I get to the airport to catch my 5:40 flight. Was forced to check my bag. Flight was delayed until 7:00, making me miss my 7:30 connection in NYC. Threw a tantrum at the desk (it's fantastic to be an actor) and got myself on the earliest leaving direct flight. Get to Miami. My luggage did not. Stand in line for an hour and half for them to tell me they don't know where it is. "Up in the Air" they say. Damnit.

It's Friday now, and I'm at South Miami Middle teaching 60+ 11-13 year olds acting and improv. So much fun, and very challenging. Definitely one of the most gratifying feelings to really connect with these kids and watch little lightbulbs go off in their heads as they make the bridge between acting and truthful storytelling. It was also a very humbling experience, and gives me so much more respect for all the great teachers I've had (as if I didn't have enough). They make it look so easy!

Saturday: I get my luggage back! And then I'm sitting at Actor's Playhouse helping out with auditions for the Miracle's spring production of Seussical. So fun to be on the other side of the table for once. It also gave me great perspective on what makes and breaks an audition, --such a valuable experience! Oh, and the cast list went out and my sister will be playing Jojo!
Then Mommy and Me hookah night with the girls and their moms. THAT was an experience, haha.

Sunday is brunch with Karl, Lauren, and Sarah. Yumm Deli Lane, and sitting outside in shorts and short sleeves.

Monday we're off to Orlando. Shopping, hot tub, lounging.

Tuesday is Islands of Adventure. Rides. Waiting. Waiting. Rides. Shopping. Waiting. Rides.

Wednesday, my birthday. Universal. Drive home. Good company. Chinese food. Movies. Laughing. Catching up. Sleeping over.

Thursday I made pancakes. Thai food date with Robbie. Oliver at AP for the 3rd time (you know, supporting my sister).

And it's Friday. Christmas Eve. I spent the day in PJ's, on the couch, watching marathons of various Bravo shows. My entire family is over now. We just cut the pork on the Hanukkah plate. Lovin' my Colombian-Jewish family.

Have a happy, everyone. :)

Nineteen

2010-12-24T20:00:00.004-05:00

I turned nineteen. Last year of being a teenager. Intense. And I was so lucky to share that day with some great company, and some of my favorite people on this planet. Yay!

No Pixie Dust

2010-12-24T19:41:00.004-05:00

It's no secret I MUCH prefer Disney to Universal, BUT as a die hard Harry Potter fan I did have to go visit. Some things you should know:

1. Dueling Dragons is now Dragon Challenge... exactly the same ride, but with only a 20 min max wait time. AWESOME!
2. The Hogwarts ride/tour thingy was so great, and worth the HOUR AND A HALF long wait.
3. There was a 25 minute wait to get inside a STORE! Don't waste your time at any of the crowded, dimly-lit HP stores because they sell all the same merchandise (including wands) at the giant store at the front of the park.
4. During peak season they close off the Harry Potter section one to two hours after it's open because it reaches its max capacity. I was there at 8 AM, and they closed at 9:30 AM. And if it's closed then you have to get a fastpass over at Toon Lagoon that tells you to come back three hours from that time.

Other things...

Stayed at the Hard Rock. LOVED this hotel.
Family vacations are so much more interesting when it's not your family. I was with my brother and sister, and then my aunts and cousins.-- Different.
Universal Studios is so lame.
I'm a sucker for a good coloring book.
My Ravenclaw scarf is gonna be SO bangin' when I'm back in the BoCo cold.
I'm pretty much obsessed with my sister. Done deal.

I'm...

2010-12-17T01:03:00.002-05:00

PINA

2010-12-16T11:49:00.000-05:00

Evaluation

2010-12-12T12:42:00.006-05:00

It's Sunday. Almost 1 PM. I haven't gotten out of bed, and neither have my roommates. All the lights are still off. It's quiet, except for the rain, my typing, Jamie's typing, and Jordyn's page flipping. I'd just like to celebrate this moment for a second. So few are these soft and quiet moments in my life, so I'd like to cherish them.

I've had a lot of things worth celebrating recently, like callbacks, good juries/finals, great friends, peppermint cheesecake, and snow flurries. But I'm most excited to celebrate going home for the holidays, and recharging for a month.

Like everything in life, you don't how good something is until you leave it. That's not to say I'm not head-over-heels for Boston, but I do have to admit missing Miami. I miss my family, cuban coffee, wearing shorts, not having to wear a coat every time I go somewhere, hanging out outside, tostadas for breakfast, being barefoot in the shower, having my own room, seeing/reviewing an obscene amount of theatre every weekend, the smell of the ocean, the humidity (just cause the heaters destroy your throat), and the people who I'm 1,500 miles away from that still manage to inspire and support me.

My first semester of college is winding down. Unbelievable. I feel like I've only been here for 5 days. But at the same time I feel like it's been five years. But regardless, the end of the semester is a time for evaluation and reflection. This is where I profusely thank everyone who was involved in my upbringing, both artistically and personally. Because I think it's this upbringing that has truly made my first semester so successful.

In preparation for our first semester evaluation meeting (where my acting, voice/speech, and movement teacher all get to together) we had to fill out a little self-evaluation questionnaire. Among many things, it asked what are the connections we were making between classes, and I said, "Alignment, breath, and an unclouded mind—working smarter, not harder." I’ve watched so many people dig themselves into the ground by trying/working too hard, but I don’t want to be one of those tortured artists living in misery for the sake of their art. Not when work is so much more accomplishable with a relaxed mind. Why would anyone want to stress over what they love to do?—that’s something that really motivates me to stay positive and pro-active in my process. Oh, and TRUSTING my process, that is another huge thing. Trusting where I am, and respecting where other people may be. I spend a lot of time convincing classmates that other's successes are not our failures-- because that is such a debilitating thought to have, especially in a performing arts conservatory.

My Intro to Theatre class is interesting. A lot of lecture and discussion. I've been in many heated fights over subjective things like what makes theatre of art. And at the beginning of the year I tried to pass out of the class using all my dual-enrollment credits from high school-- I'm glad I didn't. Aside from the many great books it's made me read and ideas its made me think about, I think the worth of this class came from one of our mini final projects: The Ten Commandments. All that was asked of us was to write the ten commandments to a life in the arts. Mine are mostly reminders from the people that have really taught and shown me what artistry really is: Elena Maria Garcia, Octavio Campos, LaVonne Canfield.

1. Trust the process.
2. Love what you do, respect it, and it will love you back.
3. Dare to suck.
4. Don’t fuck with the people who believe in you.
5. Work smarter, not harder.
6. You are entitled to nothing.
7. Your work defines you.
8. Don’t tell yourself what you can’t do.
9. Whatever you think about you bring about. Or, you see what you believe.
10. Keep your friends close, but your LaDuca’s closer.

And now as I finish this it's almost 2 (no, it doesn't take me an hour to write, Facebook is just distracting). Our christmas lights are on. The rain has picked up a bit. And I'm gonna start getting ready for my tap final. I have a final in tap dancing. My life is so great. And hopefully later will be a breakfast for dinner night. Mmmm. Oh, and if you go to the Cheesecake Factory soon I HIGHLY recommend the peppermint cheesecake. It's like thin mints and mint chocolate chip ice cream had a baby!

Namaste.

PS. I got my first paid job in Boston last weekend. I was a Christmas tree named Shine, singing carols on a trolley. My parents are proud. :)

Vices: A Love Story: Caldwell Theatre Company

2010-12-12T00:41:00.001-05:00

Often times theatre companies will advertise their current production about life, love, and relationships as the next I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change. Ok, really there's only one theatre that does that, brownie points to whoever guesses it. Sadly those shows end up being some cheesy second-rate musical that strives to hard to be like every other musical in existence, dragging their often-time good casts and productions teams down with them. Such was not the case when I went up to Boca Raton to catch the Caldwell Theatre Company’s production of Vices: A Love Story. This new musical, written by Susan Draus, Everett Bradley, Michael Heitzman, and Ilene Reid, directed by Clive Cholerton, and masterfully choreographed by AC Ciulla received its world premiere in the summer of 2009 at the same theatre, and has been brought back by popular demand. I missed this initial production, but caught a glimpse of it at the 2010 Carbonell Awards. I knew then this show was something special and different, and it went on to win the Carbonell for Best Actress in Musical and Best Choreography. I was relieved when a) they announced they’d be bringing it back this season, and b) when I learned that it would be running Thanksgiving weekend while I was home in Miami. This production features Broadway vets Carlos L. Encinias, Danielle Lee Greaves, Lara Janine, Will Lee-Williams and the heart-stopping Holly Shunkey and Albert Blaise Cattafi.

Photo from http://www.caldwelltheatre.com

I mentioned I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change because it’s the closest musical I can find to compare to Vices, but that’s strictly because of the revue-styled, hardly-any-story-line way about it. I’d like to think of the show as a blend between the aforementioned musical and Fox’s hit reality competition show "So You Think You Can Dance", which has successfully opened the eyes of mainstream TV watchers to the ardent beauty and athleticism of Contemporary dance. The show takes us through the trials and tribulations of a new couple, and really emphasizes on the vices of our current society: plastic surgery, fancy technology, social networking websites, buffing up at the gym; while also tackling those that existed long before the iGeneration: smoking, gambling, sex, gluttony, and work. The most fantastic, and unexpected, part of the show is that the two leads, Shunkey and Cattafi don’t say a word! Their entire story is expressed through dance, and is done so effectively since they are as good actors as they are dancers. The other four ensemble members weave in and out of their story, pulling them into vice or being apart of it in some way, with each song done in a different style (from Gilbert and Sullivan to the 70’s disco).

What really made this production soar was the crystal clear story-telling and fervent expression through contemporary dance. Shunkey and Cattafi are incredibly strong dancers and invest themselves whole-heartedly into the movement, leaving the audience no choice but to care deeply about their relationship. Ciulla’s choreography is dynamic in it’s ability to tell a story; fluid and acrobatic, and expertly executed. It was always surprising and exciting, and never did it become predictable. I think it's also important to give mention and merit to the super-hero-like talent of the cast. Just like the dance, the singing done is jaw dropping—transcendent at times. And although Encinias, Greaves, Janine, Williams were all superstars in their own right, there was a true sense of ensemble.

I do have to mention how cheesy it got sometimes. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the dream ballet sequence that was about a woman’s love for chocolate. And I couldn't help but feel the lyricist was far from extraordinary and was really saved by the composer. The words were too common and uninspired, and often became a disservice to the actors who are trying to express such valuable thoughts. Never was I moved by the words being sung, which is a shame because I found all the other elements to be so powerful and touching. But really the major disappointment with this production was how short it was, because I didn't want it to end!

*Apologies for posting this review obnoxiously late, considering that I saw the show two weeks ago and it has now closed.

Actors Acting

2010-12-08T19:31:00.003-05:00

Brilliant! The New York Times Magazine produced a video gallery of classic screen types, directed by Solve Sundsbo and featuring James Franco, Michael Douglas, Natalie Portman and others.

Fourteen Actors Acting

Divine Dissatisfaction

2010-12-04T12:13:00.003-05:00

A Letter to Agnes DeMille from Martha Graham.

There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. If you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is; nor how valuable it is; nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.

You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work.You have to keep open and aware directlyof the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction; a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.

The last time I wrote about this, it was about the first two paragraphs. Focus on yourself. Hear that voice from within you. The one that speaks of your character, what is good, and what represents you. Don't let the outside influence it. If you take it from the outside, it's the best of someone else, but when you do it it will be second rate, a poor imitation.

And the next two paragraphs paint a different picture ... the urges that motivate you ... Just what does that mean? You don't have to believe in yourself or your work, but only of those urges that motivate you. Those urges, that hunger that exists, it is what will drive you. Belief in yourself isn't a question. Once you beg the question, that is all that you focus on, and it will simply inhibit you. If you stray from your urges, your true urges, that hunger, that desire, that fire that conquers all, then you've drowned all that you could have been.

Why the hunger? Because fatigue will overcome you. Fatigue will encourage you to quit. Fatigue and doubt will cloud your mind and tell you that devotion isn't worth it. Fatigue and doubt will make you question it. But fatigue will not quiet the hunger, nothing will, only satisfaction. That hunger will overtake you again, I know it all too well.

But no artist is pleased...

Odd that I've found myself thinking this so often these days. No artist is pleased. My time spent at Aroma was filled with displeasure. I was never truly happy with the things I created. They all seemed full of haste and seldom ever thought through. Seldom did I ever master something, or take a step in the right direction. All I felt like I was doing was fighting off fatigue, battling demons that didn't even exist. Fighting to keep a small wheel spinning for no reason, using all my strength, just for that.

Looking back, I often think of what a good job I did do. The kitchen that was, to the kitchen that is now. It was a horrible trip through it, like a trip through mud and swamp. At the end of it, it was too little too late. There was no energy left to savor in triumph. Food cost, a mere number. All those experiences, do they add up to anything?

And so I find myself thinking of this now ... no artist is pleased. All that fills us is a sort of divine dissatisfaction. This moment here is not enough. All that I am is not enough. I do not compete with you, nor with anyone else. I only compete with me. I do not care whether or not I stand next to you, merely whether I have taken a step forward, from where I was to closer to perfection ... even if it is simply a baby step.

Devotion to anything is a true talent. Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent persperation. Everyone knows it. I could be great, if only I could persevere past this. But no ... I'm tired ... lazy ... bored ... I could be working towards this but then again, I could be doing nothing.

But focus ... on that urge, the urge that drives you. Until that urge has been satisfied, there is nothing else. There is only beauty in what we can possibly create, dissatisfaction in what reality settled for, and that blessed unrest that keeps us marching.

I said it before, a wolf's task is to guide those through the forest, and to do so, in the forest we remain.
Until next time.

Oliver!: Actors' Playhouse

2010-12-01T22:53:00.009-05:00

Ever since seeing the National Tour when I was ten, it has been a dream of mine to play a small orphaned boy in this show. And now I get to vicariously live out this dream through my sister who is in Actors’ Playhouse’ current production of Oliver! I’m proud, can you tell? I caught this production twice while I was down for Thanksgiving, and was saddened to find the actual musical itself to be less than brilliant. Actors’ tries to breathe life into this second-rate interpretation of Charles Dickens’ classic, and finds moderate success-- never falling flat, but never quite reaching the top.

David Arisco directs two Oliver’s: Cruz M. Santiago and Sammy Schecter, two Dodger’s: Kyle Christensen and Tyler Flanzer, Gary Marachek, Amy Miller Brennan, Ken Clement, Shane R. Tanner, Elizabeth Dimon, Tim Crowther, Patti Gardner, Maribeth Graham, Mark A. Harmon, Celia Louise Merendi, 12 other ensemble members, and 30 kids. Woah, that’s a lot.

To my dismay, the show is not nearly as spectacular as I remembered it. The score is so-so—some great memorable melodies, but they all last entirely too long and become excruciatingly repetitive. And the book is pretty awful, melodramatic text that inexpertly transitions in and out of songs. The story is a classic, so I don’t feel the need to reiterate it here. But I’m going to have to go back to the book to see if it ends as abruptly as the musical does. The last minute of the show is probably the most disappointing: a messy climax and then a brief and unfulfilling denouement.

Chrissi Ardito’s choreography left something to be desired in songs like “Food Glorious Food” and “Oliver”, and was sloppy and unspecific in “Consider Yourself” and “Who Will Buy”. But songs like "Pick A Pocket or Two" and "I'd Do Anything" where fun, clever, and precisely what they should be. David Nagy, music directs this vocally booming cast, but an uneven blend between the cast and orchestra do become too apparent.

The children’s ensemble is split in half, and both times I saw the “Bandits” cast (can you guess why?) with Sammy Schecter as Oliver and Tyler Flanzer as Dodger. Schecter has a gorgeous soprano, and only a scrooge wouldn’t have their heart melted by his version of “Where is Love?”. Flanzer is strong vocally and is both conniving and charming, but you miss a lot of his lines because of his muddy dialect. Marachek surprisingly isn’t as effective as you’d expect him to be as Fagin. There was an over abundance of eccentricity and a serious lack of discovery; especially in “Reviewing the Situation” where every funny voice seems entirely too planned out in an attempt to give life to a monotonous chorus. Brennan effortlessly steals the show, and carries the whole audience’s empathy as a trophy to prove it. Her “As Long as He Needs Me” is heart wrenching and she’s made it very much her own. Tanner assumes Sykes easily and is the brute force he needs to be. As Mr. Bumble, Clement is his scene stealing best alongside comic champ, Dimon as Widow Corney. Harmon and Graham, the Sowerberry’s, are excellently Tim Burton-like in “That’s Your Funeral".

Big musicals are the thing of Actors' Playhouse. Arisco knows how to assemble talent, and that's evident here. Just don't go in expecting a sweeping musical likeLes Mis or Aida (remember that gem?). Is it too early to get excited to see them take on The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee in January?

If You Go:
Oliver!
Actors' Playhouse at the Miracle Theatre
280 Miracle Mile
Coral Gables, Florida 33134

Playing through Dec 26
Wed-Sun @ 8

December, Baby

2010-12-01T22:29:00.005-05:00

My god, so many things...

First of all: HAPPY HANUKKAH!!

and for my non-Jewish readers, Happy December!

Second, I had a FANTASTIC Thanksgiving with my family in Miami. It was so so so nice to be home. I think the whole trip will get its own post.

Third, I'm SO sorry I haven't posted anything. BUT, I was just cast in Senior Directing Olympics (a project very similar to the 24 Hour Theatre Project) where the director receives a contentless scene and has to put together a well thought out piece in just a day. And that was tonight! We go for round two starting tomorrow! Yay BoCo debut!!

Fourth, be on the look out for reviews of Oliver! and Vices: A Love Story. Yay! Reviews!

Fifth, who else is so horrified at Glee's cover of Florence and the Machine's Dog Days Are Over? Simply dreadful.

Sixth, why do I love these so much? I feel so... mainstream.

Miami, Trick

2010-11-24T11:23:00.003-05:00

I'm in Miami... trick.

Oh Miami, how I've missed you. I've missed: my family, friends, SoFla theatre (and its people!!), cuban coffee, tostadas and croquetas, my house, my room, taking showers without flip flops, the checkered halls and beat up studios of New World, going outside without a northface, lounging around watching some sort of marathon on Bravo, and just sitting here in "my spot" on the couch blogging with my Dora the Explorer blanket.

Home is where the heart is.

Viral Cookies

2010-11-23T19:24:00.002-05:00

Happy 25th

2010-11-23T16:02:00.002-05:00

Last week I caught the screening of The 25th Anniversary Concert of Les Miserables. I don't know what it is about the musical, but it just pulls all my heart strings and I ALWAYS cry. And this version was no exception, minus the abomination that is Nick Jonas as Marius.

Fall Recital

2010-11-23T15:42:00.002-05:00

Just some footage from our first recital with James Javore's studio...

BTW, can we talk about how WEIRD it is to perform in Seully Hall after seeing so many youtube videos there.

lol, watch me try to find resonance in that G3: priceless.

The End Begins

2010-11-21T20:15:00.003-05:00

Picking up $125.1 million in its opening weekend, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 has officially marked the "beginning of the end", an epic 8 month celebration/lamenting/wait until Part 2, and it has quickly taken over Facebook status' of people everywhere. I saw it twice this weekend. The midnight premiere was sold out all over Boston, so we went 15 minutes out of the city to Revere, MA to catch it, and then I saw it again Saturday night. I'm not much for reviewing movies, but I do have to say this: they got it right. It's all about the quiet before the storm, and the silent energy that pulsates effortlessly throughout the movie.

Part of the Family

2010-11-16T00:30:00.004-05:00

... is what you should consider yourself with Oliver! opening at The Actors' Playhouse on November 19 and running until December 26. And I personally feel apart of the family, because this show happens to be my little sister Michelle's mainstage debut. A member of the theatre's conservatory group, The Musical Miracles, Michelle is thoroughly enjoying being apart of a production of this magnitude and to be playing a boy. And it is so cool for me to watch her follow in my footsteps. Words can't describe how happy I am that I'll be able to catch this show both when I'm down for Thanksgiving break and again when I'm back for Winter break, so you can definitely expect a review of it!

www.actorsplayhouse.org

Consider yourself invited to the historic Miracle Theatre this holiday season as Actors' Playhouse presents the Tony-award winning musical Oliver! One of the most beloved productions of all time, Oliver! vividly brings to life Charles Dickens' timeless characters from the novel Oliver Twist, with its ever-popular story of the boy who asked for more.

This musical masterpiece features a sensational score full of Lionel Bart's irresistible songs including Food Glorious Food, Consider Yourself, You've Got to Pick-a-Pocket or Two, I'd Do Anything, Oom Pah Pah, As Long As He Needs Me and many more. As the young orphan Oliver escapes from the confines of the workhouse, he finds himself in the dark corners of London's underground, where he must contend with the streetwise Artful Dodger, the slippery Fagin, the cutthroat Bill Sykes, and the passionate barmaid Nancy in a tale of social injustice, human kindness, deceit, and a love that knows no bounds.

Directed by Carbonell Award-winning Artistic Director David Arisco, this production will feature a cast and orchestra of more than 50, which will include Broadway and regional stars as well as several Actors’ Playhouse veterans.

"The scope of this production is enormous, says Arisco. "We're working with two Olivers, two Artful Dodgers, two groups of 16 kids, a cast of 22 adults, a crew of 10 and an orchestra of nine. This is truly one of our largest productions to date."

Gary Marachek, who just won the Carbonell for Best Supporting Actor in a Musical for his performance as Thénardier in Actors' Playhouse's production of Les Misérables, returns to the Miracle Theatre as Fagin, the slimy underworld pickpocket boss. Gary has also won Carbonells for his performances in AP's Violet, La Cage Aux Folles and The Mystery of Edwin Drood, and can be remembered from more than twenty productions with the company. Ken Clement (Mr. Bumble), also a multiple-time Carbonell nominee and winner, and cast member of the national touring company of Oliver!, has appeared on Actors' stage in Another Night Before Christmas, 1776, Sherlock's Last Case, and alongside Gary Marachek in the audience favorite The Big Bang. Shane Tanner (Bill Sykes) joined Clement on the national touring company of Oliver!, regional credits include: Beast in Beauty & the Beast, Rutledge in 1776, Carl-Magnus in A Little Night Music, Lt. Cable in South Pacific, Dancin' Kid in Johnny Guitar, and Whizzer in Falsettoland. Amy Miller Brennan (Nancy) was last seen at Actors' Playhouse as Ellen in Miss Saigon, Cindy Lou in The Marvelous Wonderettes, and Ariel in Footloose (Carbonell nomination). Actress Elizabeth Dimon (Widow Corney), can be remembered from AP productions of She Loves Me, Big River and Your's, Anne, other credits include: 6 seasons of Summer Shorts for City Theatre, Copenhagen, Berlin to Broadway, and Souvenir (Carbonell Award) for Palm Beach Dramaworks. The creative team for Oliver! includes Set Designer Sean McClelland, Lighting Designer Patrick Tennent, Sound Designer Alexander Herrin, Musical Director David Nagy, and Choreographer Chrissi Ardito. Resident Costume Designer Ellis Tillman has redesigned costumes originally created by Colleen Grady for Walnut Street Theatre, Philadelphia, P.A.
“Actors’ Playhouse is pleased to present this stellar cast in Oliver!, which is sure to be a great theatre event for families over the holiday season” says Barbara S. Stein, Executive Producing Director.

Preview performances of Oliver! will be held Wednesday and Thursday, November 17 and 18 at 8 p.m. The show will open Friday, November 19 at 8 p.m. and play through December 26. Evening performances will be held Wednesday through Saturday at 8 p.m., with afternoon matinees on Saturday and Sunday at 2 p.m. Pre-arranged 10 a.m. weekday matinees are available through the education department. A special Christmas Day performance is scheduled at 8 p.m. on December 25.

Preview night tickets on the first Wednesday and Thursday are $37. Tickets for weeknights and matinees are $42, and on Friday and Saturday evenings $50. The theatre offers a 10 percent senior discount rate the day of performance and $15 student rush tickets 15 minutes prior to curtain with identification. Discounts are based on availability and exclude Saturday and Sunday.

Group discounted rates are offered for 15 or more through our group sales department. Single tickets may be purchased through the box office at 305-444-9293 or online at www.actorsplayhouse.org. Holiday gift certificates are also available for purchase through the box office.

Five show subscription packages are now available to the remainder of the 2010-2010 season, which includes the two-time Tony Award winning The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee with music and lyrics by William Finn, book by Rachel Sheinkin and conceived by Rebecca Feldman (January 19 - February 13, 2010), the five-time Tony Award and Pulitzer Prize-winning play by Tracy Letts', August: Osage County (March 9 - April 10, 2011), the two-time Tony Award-winning play Alfred Hitchcock's The 39 Steps adapted by Patrick Barlow (May 11 - June 5, 2011), and a sassy new world premiere musical See Jane Run! (July 13 - August 14, 2011) by Maribeth Graham and Dana P. Rowe.

Actors’ Playhouse subscribers receive guaranteed best seating and pricing, lost ticket insurance, generous membership benefits to Coral Gables’ finest restaurants and discounts on single tickets, among other benefits. To become a part of the Miracle as an Actors’ Playhouse subscriber, call 305.444.9293 or order online at www.actorsplayhouse.org.

The Garment District

2010-11-16T00:14:00.003-05:00

Located in Cambridge, The Garment District is this huge warehouse that sells costumes and vintage/thrifted clothes. It's a funky place that I know right off the bat isn't for everyone. The big thing they have there is their Dollar-A-Pound+ which is a concept explained on their website: "Every morning when the store opens (except Fridays) we take an 850lb bale of clothing - snap open the wires and let the public shop. On Saturday & Sunday we put out multiple bales. Everything is mixed together - mens, women's kids - every style and decade all mixed together. At odd times of the week we fill tables with paired shoes, bric-a-brac, purses, bags & belts. You pay by weight. It's $1.50-a-pound every day of the week except Fridays where it is $1.00-a-pound. It's an unusual & fun way to shop and no two days are the same." Awesome right? Can we talk about how this weekend I spent only 8 dollars and got clothes from American Apparel, Gap, Banana Republic, Calvin Klein... about 12 pieces in total. UNREAL. Although I will warn you, the first thing you'll want to do when you leave is take a shower, cause you literally have to sit their sifting through clothing to find anything good. And my allergies were going insane. But worth it? YES!

Perpetual November

2010-11-15T23:18:00.004-05:00

I wish November would last forever, because it really has been one of the most incredible months ever. I thought nothing could top last weekend, when I got to spend a day in NYC... but this weekend proved me wrong. First of all, can we talk about what an excellent week I had!? A whole slew of Senior Directed shows; I caught Violet, Nine, See What I Wanna See, Next Fall, Fool For Love, The Altruists, and For Whom the Southern Bells Toll; and we put up Fat Pig, and it was such a success! The weekend came, and guess who rolled into town? ROBBIE! (And Adam!) So Friday night I took him to the cast party; Saturday we had perpetual breakfast at Trident, walked down Newbury, ventured to Cambridge to visit The Garment District (this place is gonna get its own post), went to Cheesecake Factory for Beka's birthday, and went to GRICKIES!! FYI: It was Decade Grickies, and the Freshmen were 1776, so I went as Plymouth Rock. He left early Sunday morning, but just around that time my aunt and cousin flew in! So I took them around Boston; down Newbury, to Boston Common, and the North End for dinner and Mike's Pastry. And now it's Monday again, but I absolutely LOVE Monday's. I had an AMAZING acting class this morning (we're working on Shakespeare monologues right now), and then my only other class for the day is ballet (which is always wonderful). So in between I got to take my relatives to Cambridge for ice cream! And tonight: clean laundry (yay!), last nights Dexter, HP6, and blogging. I love my life.

Fat Pig at The Boston Conservatory

2010-11-08T14:23:00.003-05:00

*Correction - The open dress is at 7 PM.

Come see the show I'm stage managing!
And also see the other Senior Directed's:

Wednesday, November 10th
The Altruists, Reluctant Prophets, NINE

Thursday, November 11th
Fat Pig, Next Fall, Violet

riday, November 12th
Fool For Love, For Whom the Southern Belle Tolls, See What I Wanna See

NYC 11/6

2010-11-08T14:09:00.005-05:00

The best of times is now! Day trip to the city!

Backstage of La Cage Aux Folles with [the super fierce] Sean Patrick Doyle, NWSA alum and former Musical Miracle!We got a tour of the stage and the dressing rooms. So fun!!

And now photos curtesy of Francesca Ferrari!

Sweeney Todd

2010-11-08T13:40:00.003-05:00

Attending the tale...

A Star Is Born

2010-11-02T23:59:00.002-04:00

HalloWeekend

2010-10-30T13:44:00.009-04:00

HalloWeekend Thoughts and Things:

Feedback is important. It's crucial to listen to what people are observing, and take note. And that's it. No need to harp on or swim in feedback. Just take notice of it.

I did extremely well on all my midterms. I'm especially proud of my Musical Theatre exam-- Bach has nothing on me.

Making things happen isn't a quick process. Patience.

I'm unsure of a lot of things, but I'm trying to find comfort in this uncertainty.

I've spent 50+ hours in the last 6 days teching Sweeney Todd... on top of my full course load. Hi, my name is Alexis and I have no life. It's an absolutely stunning production though, and I'm so humbled to be surrounded by such beautiful and remarkably talented people.

Why is Halloween on a Sunday? Who's idea was this?

I need cat ears.

Formation... Boston edition!

Rope Light:

Fat Pig Rehearsal:

Feng Shui-ing our Dorm

Backstage of Sweeney:

Creating Yourself

2010-10-24T17:42:00.003-04:00

Within the last few months I have practiced George Bernard Shaw’s idea that “Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself”. It’s the statement inscribed on a necklace I wear daily, given to me by someone who I credit heavily with my artistic understanding and achievement—go figure. But what does Shaw mean by this? I think it only hit me very recently, as a result of many mini discoveries I’ve had in acting class, journaling, and from college life. So I’ll go through these mini discoveries sequentially:

We are both everything we are and everything we believe we are not. The minute we label ourselves as something or not something we are in fact recognizing we have the capacity to exercise the complete opposite. For example, I think of myself as a very grounded person—in terms of my identity, social environment, spiritual and emotional self. But at the very same time I know I am far from being grounded, because could the truly grounded manifest enough ego to admit so? The truly humble person never acknowledges their humbleness. The most brilliant thing about humanity is its inability to be static, and that’s certainly one of the greatest things about the theatre. It knows that, under the right circumstances, we all have the capacity to be everything and anyone. There is a dormant serial killer in everyone, and equally there is a dormant saint. It’s having the opportunity to access these parts of ourselves openly and unashamed that draws us to the theatre. So why do we consciously waste time trying to label ourselves? The only label I think adequately fits everyone is dynamic. So those in the act of “finding themselves” are only in the transition of rebelling against their self-proclaimed label, in search of a more current and better fitting one. Eventually that label will wear old too, and they will “lose” themselves again. So by acknowledging that every day leaves an impression on us and we are always shifting, learning, and adapting we can move on to understanding that the only constant in our lives is change—we have the facility to be everything. And recognizing this change is the first step out of “finding” yourself and into “creating” yourself.

Ego vs. Ambition. Outwardly the two look nearly identical, which is a curious position for anyone to be in. I look back at my senior year as a very ambition-driven year. Since our ambition is in place to serve the ego, most on the outside looking in would say my senior year was very ego-driven. Although I am partial to one view, I accept them both as “truth”—and would use those words interchangeably. And to say you don’t need a certain degree of ego, especially in the theatre, is ludicrous. Society has conditioned us into believing that ego is a bad quality. I think that, though abrasive, it is highly necessary to have. Now, instead of trying to get rid of our ego, learning how to balance it out becomes the objective. How does this relate to “creating yourself”? I think creation takes a measure of ruthlessness, and ruthlessness only sits comfortably in self-confidence (or ego/ambition).

Playable Tactics. A lot of acting is finding playable tactics to achieve an objective. So I think it can be as simple as comparing “finding” to “creating”, the latter just sounds like the stronger choice. “Finding” brings to mind a theoretical kind of thinking-approach, where as “creating” sounds much more tangible and action based.

We must work for work. I don’t know of anyone that just suddenly found himself or herself a lead on Broadway, or owner of a new theatre company, or even head surgeon in a hospital. There’s a combination of time and effort put in simply to attain work. There are actors that go around, passively waiting, trying to “find” work. Often it makes them bitter, and leads them away from voice lessons, dance, and acting class, and closer towards miserable day jobs they’ll never feel safe enough to leave. I’m sure it’s pretty naïve of me to think I’ll never have to depend on a day job to put food on my table or to keep the heat on, but I am completely of the belief that if you can’t get work you must create your own. Of course it does take some investment. For example, my investment in a good camera—best idea. It’s not a steady or substantial income, but it’s something, and completely manageable for my amount of free time. Hours spent figuring out Photoshop—also a great investment. As for theatre, not getting cast? Create your own theatre. I know, easier said than done. So I guess I’m directing this more towards people in artistic institutions: create your own theatre! I’m only realizing now how ridiculously easy it is. All it takes is drive. If creating is important to you then all the work, however strenuous, will be fun and gratifying.

Inspiration + Support = Endless Possibilities. I’ve found it so critical to be surrounded by similarly thinking people, so ideas are always bouncing around and the inspiration flows endlessly. But most importantly, these similar thinking people are the ones to provide the support necessary to make things happen. I’m constantly astounded and warmed by the amount of support that is constantly available to me when I seek it. There is no passion greater than an artist’s, and it’s incredible how we band together to make art happen. It takes belief in a vision, and a vision to create.

Creating Yourself: Space and Place. You create a space for your work. You create your place on this earth.